I need to feel again

The highlight of my days is
Wishing that I'd jump of a cliff and
Land on billions of flesh-eating razors
So I can feel again.
Maybe then all these voices of
Unsatisfied parents,heartless ex lovers,
Friendly advice would finally be overwhelmed
By the gushing wounds in my body.
Maybe someday wild animals would
Grace me with their presence and tentatively
Break every bone in my body than maybe,
Just maybe..these pitch-black,death-molested
Thoughts would obey the torment.Then maybe I
Might feel again.

I wish a thunderbolt would rocket through my
Skull and reverberate all over my anatomy,
Sending pulsating shock-waves into these
Mortifying thoughts of suicidal endeavours which
Constantly prick through the fibers of my
Unconventional mind.Then maybe I can feel again.

Looking at knives and taunting my appetite
To slit my wrists and watch blood soar out
Into little waterfalls of my nothingness,
Maybe,just maybe..