deepundergroundpoetry.com
the stuffed pink bunny used for masturbation at age seven
the bullet goes in his head
real smooth like
as if it was just some peculiar object
thrown into a pool of butter
but the pool
is shaped like someone's brain.
its almost as if i can see it
from an inside point of view
but no
there really wasn't ever
a point to any of this
at all
just a weird smell
left lingering in my nose
all the way to the back of my mouth.
the body
wasn't a body after all
just another living-breathing person
now on the floor
and my mom shields my eyes
with a winter coat
but it's the middle of july
where would she have ever found that?
real smooth like
as if it was just some peculiar object
thrown into a pool of butter
but the pool
is shaped like someone's brain.
its almost as if i can see it
from an inside point of view
but no
there really wasn't ever
a point to any of this
at all
just a weird smell
left lingering in my nose
all the way to the back of my mouth.
the body
wasn't a body after all
just another living-breathing person
now on the floor
and my mom shields my eyes
with a winter coat
but it's the middle of july
where would she have ever found that?
Published 4th Jun 2013
| Edited 23rd Jul 2013
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4th Jun 2013 3:43am
A very intriguing title, Lacey. I really like the details in stanzas 1,3 and 5 with that last stanza really rocking. Stanzas 2 and 4 would benefit by a pinch more of your flair for detail. Lastly, I think the peculiar object in the first stanza is a tad vague. I think if you were more graphic there it would help grab the reader by the throat and say, "LOOK AT ME GODDAMNIT." Keep in mind that these are minor issues and I very much like what you've written!
4th Jun 2013 12:37pm
4th Jun 2013 3:44pm
Anonymous
- Edited 5th Jun 2013 9:22pm
5th Jun 2013 9:08pm
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