deepundergroundpoetry.com
Razors and Bandages
The pain makes my body shiver
My breath tears out of my throat
The agony gets worse and worse
But I'll still put on my Captain's coat.
It's the other me, the hidden one
It rips apart, torments, ravages
There's a way to push it back
All I need is razors and bandages.
But there is no other me, just myself
So I only have myself to blame
I keep trying, hoping so hard
But in the end it's all the same.
My body's too weak to hold the pain in
There's no other way, this won't change
I have to spill my blood right now
Don't you worry, I've set the range.
Short and shallow strokes that torture
I'll place them where no one can see
I know it's wrong, I know I'm insane but
It's the only thing that can save me.
My breath tears out of my throat
The agony gets worse and worse
But I'll still put on my Captain's coat.
It's the other me, the hidden one
It rips apart, torments, ravages
There's a way to push it back
All I need is razors and bandages.
But there is no other me, just myself
So I only have myself to blame
I keep trying, hoping so hard
But in the end it's all the same.
My body's too weak to hold the pain in
There's no other way, this won't change
I have to spill my blood right now
Don't you worry, I've set the range.
Short and shallow strokes that torture
I'll place them where no one can see
I know it's wrong, I know I'm insane but
It's the only thing that can save me.
Published 2nd Jun 2013
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The author encourages honest critique.
2nd Jun 2013 6:38pm
I like the flow of this piece. The only thing I would tweak would be the second part. Having the word myself in both lines doesn't flow well in my eyes. (I am not some epic poet, so don't worry too much). I'm just going to throw this out there..
"But there is not another me, just myself
Here I am again, in my chair of blame
I keep trying, hoping so hard
The table is always changing
Yet my seat remains the same"
"But there is not another me, just myself
Here I am again, in my chair of blame
I keep trying, hoping so hard
The table is always changing
Yet my seat remains the same"
2nd Jun 2013 6:47pm
Ooh, I like that one! And thanks for the feedback.
To be honest, I didn't even proof read it. I scribbled it down while my other hand was attempting to pierce my nails through my skin... The compulsion is so strong!
To be honest, I didn't even proof read it. I scribbled it down while my other hand was attempting to pierce my nails through my skin... The compulsion is so strong!
2nd Jun 2013 11:15pm
