Surprise!

I was propped up at the bar nursing my beer
when a beefcake came upon me, wearing a sneer.
He gave me the once over, lust in his eyes.
Then he not-so-politely put his hands
upon my thigh.

" You're looking pretty sweet, lady," he boasted. " I love the long read hair. Let me buy you another beer, perhaps two, if you don't really care."

" No, I don't mind, Studball," I purred. " I really don't mind at all. And maybe after all the fun we have here, we can go to my place and ball."

Well, his sneer got bigger
and his dickie did too,
and I was thinking to myself,
What the hell am I to do?

So I took him back to my place,
to my little psychedelic home,
where we frolicked and smooched and we rubbed and we moaned,
and his hands up my legs, began to roam.

" Wait, wait!! " I shoved him away, then fell back upon my crack. I parted my thighs and he looked quite taken aback
as I pushed up my skirt and flashed him my hairy nutsack.

And I said, playing it cool while grasping my tool, " I ain't no chick. My name is Skip. I'm a dude, man.....April Fool. "