NOTHING MORE    (2004, Galveston Island, Texas)  

                 
       love in my life                  
so rarely has come                  
       transient as weather        
which seems to be                
       almost as rare for me                  
as rainstorms in the sahara                  
       yet when it comes                  
with its life giving rains                  
       my hearts refreshed                  
fed and refilled                  
       washed and cleansed                  
overwhelmed for a time                  
       then one day                  
its swept away                  
       in some sudden                  
unexpected turbulence                  
       overcome by                  
its tiring currents                  
       it loses its struggle                  
to simply survive                  
       then slowly drowns                  
itself away
       love in my life                  
when it comes                  
       seems so hard  
to sustain                  
       its sweet ecstasies                  
so hard to endure                  
       its disastrous storms                  
all its ups and downs                  
       all its too brief                  
blissful joys                  
       and intermittent pains                  
with all its inevitable                  
       unbearable sufferings                  
no rhyme  nor reasoning                  
       can figure it out                  
no doctor or medicine                  
       can offer a cure                  
no amount of therapy                  
       or hard core prayer                  
can truly heal                  
       a broken heart                  
once inflicted        
       even time  can only                  
lick its surface wounds                  
       at best                  
but still will leave                  
       some lingering scars                  
haunting shadow                  
       forever it seems
love in my life                  
       all these precious things                  
yet lifes essential lessons                  
       still mostly feel                  
so far beyond                  
       my lifes attainment                  
thus far  for all these                  
       fifty years it seems                  
the simple dream                  
       of hopefully finding                  
the perfect soul mate                  
       of finding some                  
lasting love                  
       here in this great                  
lottery of the heart      
       to ignite the spark      
which quickens  feeds      
       fulfills and lights      
the hungry seeking      
       of each eternal      
longing soul      
       with something
else
       so wonderful
so beautiful
       so magical
mysteriously
       unfathomable
than enlightened    
       ineffable truth
alone
       similarly
can both know
       and be
but effably simply
       cannot say
yet within each    
       and every epic    
heros journeys quest      
       for its own holy grail      
it may just as often feel      
       that for and hidden within      
every new revelations      
       insightful answer revealed      
there can be and are      
       even more unexpected      
further new questions unveiled      
       which seems to promise                  
not much more                  
       than the toughest                  
ever diminishing odds                  
       to hang my fading                  
hopes and dreams upon                  
       as all evidence                  
appears to show                    
       for me  so far                  
at least this time around                  
       sadly indicating                  
that love seems little more                  
       than a wistful                  
wishful dream                  
       slowly drowning                  
away in itself            
       destroying any hope            
in all my ongoing          
       future tomorrows          
regardless of whether          
       i ll have any or not      
here in my lifes present      
       or future  ongoing      
journey at all
       love in my life                  
only this restless dream                  
       which never seems      
to end  much less      
       to ever even begin      
and in between      
       so seldom ever      
almost never seems      
       to have sufficiently      
fed nor filled      
       my chronically          
lonesome heart                  
       to quell  nor abate      
the unseen ache                  
       of its ever relentless                  
innermost yearnings          
     seemingly most futile    
frustrated  anemic    
       desires
rather than my    
       so vainly sustaining    
for any longer    
       or any further    
such doubtful    
       false hopes                
or frail faith    
       in my ever even daring    
to try and dream of            
       much less ever                  
come to believe in      
       ever having at least      
in my life one true      
       everlasting love at all      
or even one which comes      
       half way close to that      
at this late point perhaps    
       delusional dream ideal    
unless  of course    
       some less than idyllic    
or even some or any      
       not quite so perfect love    
should  mysteriously somehow    
       by some latent miracle                  
 of destiny or through      
       some other unforeseen      
 freakish twist      
       of merciful fate                  
find its way                  
       to ever come                  
with open heart                  
       back to me      
into my too long      
       fallow life      
again