deepundergroundpoetry.com
"Sexists"
That I felt like Morgan Freeman
When I kissed you last time we met
& you obeyed me whilst I played you;
My penis as hard as my strained guitar
Like I fine tuned the lanes of our love.
That you shunned me away like diva Madonna
When the old man raped her in a film I forgot
And she cried foul shouting, “you son of a bitch…”,
All naked, Posing & modeling your filthy anatomy;
All those haunted me for a while but then
I have moved on deleting whatever meaningless.
When I kissed you last time we met
& you obeyed me whilst I played you;
My penis as hard as my strained guitar
Like I fine tuned the lanes of our love.
That you shunned me away like diva Madonna
When the old man raped her in a film I forgot
And she cried foul shouting, “you son of a bitch…”,
All naked, Posing & modeling your filthy anatomy;
All those haunted me for a while but then
I have moved on deleting whatever meaningless.
Published 29th May 2013
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Anonymous
- Edited 12th Jun 2013 3:44am
12th Jun 2013 3:43am
On reading this a second time I get a sense of a repressed, nasty man taking out his sexual dysfunction on women, as if it's their fault. The Morgan Freeman reference, when I think about it, is really quite clever; as an actor Freeman conveys quiet, gentle authority and power, which is what your narrator wants but doesn't and may never have.
There's some neat satire here, though what you need to work on (IMHO, of course) is your syntax. Certain lines are missing words and punctuation, like "I have moved on deleting whatever meaningless", which should have a comma after "on" and an "is" after "whatever". Thank you for the read.
There's some neat satire here, though what you need to work on (IMHO, of course) is your syntax. Certain lines are missing words and punctuation, like "I have moved on deleting whatever meaningless", which should have a comma after "on" and an "is" after "whatever". Thank you for the read.
