non-believer

I will no longer be your puppet I will not be controlled by the love I used to have for you my heart is not tangled with your fingers holding on too tightly it feels like I need you to breathe but I really don't you can take my heart I don't need it love is not real so I won't go trying to find it I can't believe in love or God anymore because every time I reached for them they never helped me I had to help myself so the reality I live in is just me a bitter girl who knows nothing but pain and smiles because she's accepted her fate don't tell me I can be saved because I know it's too late I will lay in this bed and drift to sleep dreaming of a world were God actually leads me to safety and never lets me be harmed and love and affection exists not as a trap but its actual purpose and i'll be happy for once but I know i'll have to wake up to reality where God doesn't exist because he let those people all those people hurt me and love is just a trap for people to manipulate you take your God damn hand off my heart or better yet rip my heart out I don't want it I told you I don't need it cause this reality is cold and people would see it as a weakness so i'd rather look strong here i'll rip it out for you and i'll wrap it up real nicely and mail it to this so called God and there will be a note attached to it that says "This was your creation to help people believe in something so pure and selfless.you should have created a better world with better people.fix your priorities cause you failed as a creator and as a savior! sincerely, the girl's life you couldn't save."