deepundergroundpoetry.com
Am I getting through to you, now?
An odd shuffle of the feet and an erratic
flicker of the fingers betray that Judas smile.
“Hello,” slimes from rubber lips to my ears,
escalating tension to clenched rage.
I don’t bother to disguise my disgust.
Today, buddy, I am ready to communicate.
“No, I don’t want to talk to you.”
My boot swiftly kicks your shin.
“No, I don’t want to get in your car.”
My elbow slams into your ear.
“No, I will not ‘see you later.’”
My fist grabs your shirt into a ball —
“Say hello to my pal.”
— and introduces your face to the lamppost.
I straighten my clothes, ready for
my walk. Pest controlled.
Dedicated to anyone who has had to face slimeballs who do not get the message. THE MESSAGE is written here in 'fist-speak'. This is in response to Magdalena's poem "Cretin..."
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/104450-cretin/
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 16
reading list entries 2
comments 35
reads 1210
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re: Am I getting through to you, now?
2nd May 2013 00:00am
Pure excellence Atakti...I just came from that Horrid trial She's enduring:(
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re: Re: Am I getting through to you, now?
2nd May 2013 2:23pm
Re: Am I getting through to you, now?
2nd May 2013 1:03am
re: Re: Am I getting through to you, now?
2nd May 2013 2:24pm
Re: Am I getting through to you, now?
2nd May 2013 1:09am
I find this very well animated, slick and direct like a comic strip almost...Enjoyed, thanks
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re: Re: Am I getting through to you, now?
2nd May 2013 2:25pm
Re: Am I getting through to you, now?
Anonymous
2nd May 2013 5:30am
wow! I love this! That would be nice to do in reality to do sometime, especially where I live, can't be out at night without someone trying to get you in their car.
JaimeBun
JaimeBun
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re: Re: Am I getting through to you, now?
Anonymous
- Edited 2nd May 2013 9:54am
2nd May 2013 9:52am
<< post removed >>
re: Re: Am I getting through to you, now?
2nd May 2013 2:27pm
Re: Am I getting through to you, now?
Anonymous
2nd May 2013 9:52am
<< post removed >>
re: Re: Am I getting through to you, now?
2nd May 2013 2:28pm
Re: Am I getting through to you, now?
2nd May 2013 10:55am
Wow Atakti, how did I miss this.. It could have been written for me.
Excellent :)
Excellent :)
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re: Re: Am I getting through to you, now?
2nd May 2013 11:25am
Ahhh just realised why I missed this, because this is the first time I've been in since you posted it LOL. :)
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re: re: Re: Am I getting through to you, now?
2nd May 2013 2:22pm
re: re: re: Re: Am I getting through to you, now?
2nd May 2013 6:14pm
Flip, I completely missed the foot note, I must have been multitasking lol... Thank you dear :)
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Re: Am I getting through to you, now?
Anonymous
2nd May 2013 11:40am
Super work, Atakti! A masterful piece. That put the slime-ball in his place. Amazing finishing stanza! One for my reading list! :D
Carlene
Carlene
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re: Re: Am I getting through to you, now?
2nd May 2013 2:29pm
Re: Am I getting through to you, now?
Anonymous
2nd May 2013 12:09pm
A great poetic response ataki!
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re: Re: Am I getting through to you, now?
2nd May 2013 2:31pm
Re: Am I getting through to you, now?
2nd May 2013 7:26pm
nice. love your agression miss atakti. the wording def stands out awesomely to me in the first stanza but still consistent through out.
i like this alot lady...
i like this alot lady...
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re: Re: Am I getting through to you, now?
7th May 2013 9:32pm
Re: Am I getting through to you, now?
2nd May 2013 7:42pm
Kick ass poem,
“Say hello to my pal.”
— and introduces your face to the lamppost.
very well written :)
“Say hello to my pal.”
— and introduces your face to the lamppost.
very well written :)
0
re: Re: Am I getting through to you, now?
7th May 2013 9:33pm
Heh, sometimes, when the gloves are off, a strange turn of phrase takes over...
Thank you, Scribbler!
Thank you, Scribbler!
Re: Am I getting through to you, now?
3rd May 2013 2:48am
This was extremely well written! I enjoyed it a lot haha. very simple, yet blunt.
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re: Re: Am I getting through to you, now?
7th May 2013 9:34pm
Re: Am I getting through to you, now?
7th May 2013 2:40pm
Ha!
I am getting too old and crackly to beat people up anymore. Hence why I carry a gun.
Much enjoyed :)
I am getting too old and crackly to beat people up anymore. Hence why I carry a gun.
Much enjoyed :)
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re: Re: Am I getting through to you, now?
7th May 2013 9:35pm
Re: Am I getting through to you, now?
7th May 2013 9:27pm
re: Re: Am I getting through to you, now?
7th May 2013 9:35pm
Re: Am I getting through to you, now?
Anonymous
14th May 2013 3:06pm
Lurve the tough side of you! I wholeheartedly agree with your tactics, even if they are just descriptive words. Lets just say I've been there ;)
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re: Re: Am I getting through to you, now?
14th May 2013 3:29pm
Re: Am I getting through to you, now?
11th Jun 2013 00:35am
I like this one. I like it a lot, Atakti (even spelled your name right.) :) I don't have any kind of profound critique for you today though.
Gemini
Gemini
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re: Re: Am I getting through to you, now?
20th Jun 2013 2:41pm
Re: Am I getting through to you, now?
20th Jun 2013 2:29pm
This is cool.... did you just introduce Tyler Durden's face to a lamppost???
I am Magdalena's smirking revenge.
You kick ass Atakti.
I am Magdalena's smirking revenge.
You kick ass Atakti.
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re: Re: Am I getting through to you, now?
20th Jun 2013 2:45pm