Scum That I Despise

Scum
Slimy, slippery scum

Cheaters
Killers
Liars
All scum of the earth

But there is an even bigger scum
And it is within me

The scum of ignorance
I fucking hate it
I just want to rip myself open
And apply fire and daggers to kill it

I am sorry for being so fucking ignorant
I didn't register your feelings
The thought of you even slightly liking me
Was fathomable

I honestly felt like crying
Or even hurting myself
Which for me
Is extreme

I feel like shit
You were so beautiful
No, scratch that
You were radiant

And I was blind
As well as ignorant

I have trouble reading girls
Even more so when I get mixed signs
It's not your fault
Trust me it's not

How I treated you was immature and unfair
I am the scum that I despise

I am sorry that I ruined the night
It was supposed to be special
But it ended worse that
A shit storm of angry fathers

I am the scum that I despise
So please
I beg you
Forgive me

That way
I can be lynched
With a twinkle
In my eyes