What I Write (Part 2)

I have been doing a lot of back and forth with myself. The other voice inside continues to push me towards the light. I wrote the parts in italics last week and when I read over this today the other voice screamed no!!! which is why those parts are in bold. this is a continuation of an earlier poem that I wrote called What I Write. To get the best perspective on this please read part one

Part 1: (http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/100638-what-i-write/)



What I write
is what I am
what I see
where I stand
twisted dark
full of tears
an open heart
drenched with fear

    what you write is what you are?!?
     a self absorbed open scar
     dark and twisted and full of tears?!?
     more like weak with thoughts unclear

what I write
is what I do
not a style
that others choose
haunting screams
evil eyes
shadow things
that try to hide

     what you do is fucking dwell
     in a place you know too well
     the screams you hear and eyes you see
     are your own that you keep

what I write
is WHO I am
trying to cope
the best I can
purging out
letting go
my own self doubt of
words that flow

     what you write is [b]NOT who you are
     you're failing at the coping part
     try to purge with all your might
     but you're holding on too tight[/b]

what I write
is what I think
the thoughts that dance
inside of me
from razor blades
to piercing thorns
the toll it takes
to ride the storm

     the thoughts you think are getting old
     you hold those thoughts way too close
     the thorns still pierce and the razors slice
     because you won't leave them behind

what I write
is what I write
nightmares
dreams
the things I fight
pain that stings
thoughts that hurt
immortalized through
structured verse

     what you write is what you write?!?
     yourself is what you really fight
     the pain you feel and thought that hurt
     you're rubbing salt with all these words

what I write
is what I feel
emotions that seem
to overwhelm
instead of love
peace
light
I write of dark
pain
fright

    what you feel is what you write
    but what you feel is trapped inside
    instead of turning towards the light
    in the dark you try to hide

what I write
I would rather not
but sometimes its
all I've got
if I could erase
all the pain
I know I wouldn't
write the same

    if you would rather not... then just don't
    you'll take its strength if you let it go
    take the pain and spit it out
    theres no real comfort in self doubt