twice, even

"soaring into a sea sky, blue and deep"

This piece is gorgeous, Atakti. Feels dreamy & meditative. Love the finishing lines & the set out, too! I'm not sure how the title fits with the piece. Must be too early in the morning, for me! :D

Great poem!

Carlene

P.S. I got it now! I was reading the two poems out of sequence! :)

Your comments describe what I was trying to convey, so thanks, Carlene...

Yeah, the titles are a bit off, a small inside joke to myself, because I so rarely get good sleep these days.  Slept well last night though!

:)

Again, beautiful simplicity ...

Thank you, Mark xx

:)

Goodness Girl.

I'd say this is pretty close to perfect, or
I'm not sleeping enough. ;)

I'll opt for both, and move on :)

*Big grin*

Read both poems together a few times, guaranteed nodding off...

("for once" is the first poem).

Thanks, Maggie.

another big-small gem ataki!

strider

Thank youuuuuuuuuuuuu, Strider.  

:)

Very dreamy, with a swaying feel.

Wonderful simplicity :)

Thank you, Scribbler!

:)

Going to the next level.. you have caught the sleep process beautifully Atakti. :)

Thank you, Magdalena!  :)

Packing punches in these small hr. writes!!!
Love it!!!

Thanks, soul, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Twice, even you have knocked out of the park!!! Small writes that need no more words. Great job

Thank you, twice!


:)

A quietly powerful, transcendent poem, which could be about meditation or even someone in a coma, roaming inside their own head. I like the phrases "sea sky" and "falling upwards". They really evoke a sense of escaping into some other plane. Thank you for the read.

Thanks, Jack! Those phrases were chosen for exactly those reasons.

So pleased they have translated through into your interpretation.

Future sky fall...she spills into graceful unconsciousness...

Ooh, I like that. Your comment is poem worthy...

:)

It's definitely beautiful, I love your words and how appropriately they're used. But I'm having trouble fully understanding where you're coming from or what you're trying to get at. Are you saying you're a dreamer but your dreams always don't fall according to yourself maybe?

That's what I got out of it. (JMHO)

This is part two... here is part one:

http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/101031-for-once/

Thank you for your lovely comments.  :)