Submissions by stalro

sick.
as if i downed a bottle of pills.
and they've been sitting for a while.
this is the feeling..
i know it all too well..
anticipating the end..

tears fall down my face.
i'm not ready for this.
but i've asked for it.
i wanted it.

every blossom crushed, every ray banished[font=Courier New]..
i did it to myself..

i'm afraid to look inside sometimes.
to see the hollowness in me.
to look and see,... see.. nothing,.. nothing looking back at me..

numb and aware,
too tired to care.

i lay on this bed i've...

the day the ambulance came and took me away - i was seventeen with mental ills -
i went to a place where i got morning calls for fruit loops, showers, and a shitload of pills.

overmedicated, super dedicated to getting the hell out of there.

it was a prison, a trap,  so many damn day naps..

i made it out alive
so different, beyond that  i cannot even describe

depakote, seroquel, ativan, topomax, just relax......

the problem is-

the pills don't fill the gaps of what i lost or never gained in the process of growing up.
memories so...