Submissions by senid
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Poet Introduction
I say that I write for myself, but I am also realizing my poems want to be shared. Only recently started to think of myself as a writer. Frequently write trying to find some resolution to all the things inside of me.
SELF POEM
Published
2nd Dec 2021 2:37pm
2nd Dec 2021 2:37pm
Good girl (ptsd related)
Good girl
written February 27th, 2021
I have always been
a good girl.
It was a role
that fit me well.
I took whatever
society-family-church
said I should be
and tried to be all of it
to prove - to show - to hide.
Certainly nobody would hurt
a good girl
and I was
such a grown-up good girl.
What could there be
in the life of
such a good girl
that I couldn't take care of
myself?
It's certainly the face I presented
and all the things
that didn't fit ...
written February 27th, 2021
I have always been
a good girl.
It was a role
that fit me well.
I took whatever
society-family-church
said I should be
and tried to be all of it
to prove - to show - to hide.
Certainly nobody would hurt
a good girl
and I was
such a grown-up good girl.
What could there be
in the life of
such a good girl
that I couldn't take care of
myself?
It's certainly the face I presented
and all the things
that didn't fit ...
#children
#childhood
#PTSD
484 reads
1 Comment
SELF POEM
Published
2nd Dec 2021 2:19pm
2nd Dec 2021 2:19pm
Him (ptsd related)
Him
written July 8th, 2021
This is painful stuff, for me to post. I need to get this out of my "In Process Notebook" and into the "Finished Notebook." For me part of ptsd is avoiding anything about the trauma. I don't even want to call him my father, but that is who this is about. There are not graphic details of trauma in this writing, but there is some graphic language. I would avoid it if words can trigger you. Please feel free to skip this one and move on to something else.
-----------------
The other day, I stood in the kitchen, and had velveeta on...
written July 8th, 2021
This is painful stuff, for me to post. I need to get this out of my "In Process Notebook" and into the "Finished Notebook." For me part of ptsd is avoiding anything about the trauma. I don't even want to call him my father, but that is who this is about. There are not graphic details of trauma in this writing, but there is some graphic language. I would avoid it if words can trigger you. Please feel free to skip this one and move on to something else.
-----------------
The other day, I stood in the kitchen, and had velveeta on...
#family
#memories
#PTSD
342 reads
1 Comment
OBSERVATIONAL POEM
Published
30th Nov 2021 9:28pm
30th Nov 2021 9:28pm
Being we with
Being we with
November 17th, 2021
It can be a cold solitary world
but sometimes we are blessed
with people we can be we with
the sparkles and starlight
normally hidden inside
can burst out in dazzling displays
these lonely souls in all of us
can be seen for a brief moment
be known by another we are we with
some of these we may last
but most don't
seems to be the sad fact
so I wish moments of being we with
for you and I and we
moments we treasure and hold onto
for those long...
November 17th, 2021
It can be a cold solitary world
but sometimes we are blessed
with people we can be we with
the sparkles and starlight
normally hidden inside
can burst out in dazzling displays
these lonely souls in all of us
can be seen for a brief moment
be known by another we are we with
some of these we may last
but most don't
seems to be the sad fact
so I wish moments of being we with
for you and I and we
moments we treasure and hold onto
for those long...
#love
#loneliness
#friendship
269 reads
5 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
21st Nov 2021 2:54pm
21st Nov 2021 2:54pm
Moments in my day
Moments in my day
written August 7th, 2021
1.
I wake up
and look out the window
at the morning sun
shining through the leaves.
I look out the window again
and it is the dusk sky of day's end.
The day has gone somewhere
to someone.
2.
I sit and stare out the
half-circle window.
Somehow I
have arrived here
so I stay.
I'm not sure
where or when I am.
I don't move.
I wait for someone
to say it is ok
and hope
they don't notice me
if it is...
written August 7th, 2021
1.
I wake up
and look out the window
at the morning sun
shining through the leaves.
I look out the window again
and it is the dusk sky of day's end.
The day has gone somewhere
to someone.
2.
I sit and stare out the
half-circle window.
Somehow I
have arrived here
so I stay.
I'm not sure
where or when I am.
I don't move.
I wait for someone
to say it is ok
and hope
they don't notice me
if it is...
#identity
#myself
313 reads
1 Comment
SELF POEM
Published
18th Nov 2021 00:21am
18th Nov 2021 00:21am
The real me
The real me
written July 1st, 2021
I sit on a low bluff
looking out at the ocean in Goa
age 18 and away from home
for the first time.
I can see sitting beside me
a version of me who is
female - compassionate - loving
my skirts and my bangles
the anklets Shankar and Ana gave me
soft and round and surprised
I want to be intimate with a boy.
This is the real me.
I see sitting on the other side of me
another version of me
who is sure _they_ are the real me
male - logical - unemotional
calm...
written July 1st, 2021
I sit on a low bluff
looking out at the ocean in Goa
age 18 and away from home
for the first time.
I can see sitting beside me
a version of me who is
female - compassionate - loving
my skirts and my bangles
the anklets Shankar and Ana gave me
soft and round and surprised
I want to be intimate with a boy.
This is the real me.
I see sitting on the other side of me
another version of me
who is sure _they_ are the real me
male - logical - unemotional
calm...
#identity
#PTSD
#SelfDiscovery
435 reads
2 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
16th Nov 2021 2:21pm
16th Nov 2021 2:21pm
I want
I want
written July 10th, 2020
I want blue skies
and sun on my face.
I want green plants
growing like crazy on the deck.
I want rooms full of books
like old friend and lovers.
I want someone
to wear perfume for at night.
I want to not be scared
lost in the past.
I want to be here now.
I want to always know
that I am home and whole.
I want all parts of me
to realize their dreams.
I want to be known.
I want to never stop wanting.
I want...
written July 10th, 2020
I want blue skies
and sun on my face.
I want green plants
growing like crazy on the deck.
I want rooms full of books
like old friend and lovers.
I want someone
to wear perfume for at night.
I want to not be scared
lost in the past.
I want to be here now.
I want to always know
that I am home and whole.
I want all parts of me
to realize their dreams.
I want to be known.
I want to never stop wanting.
I want...
#dreams
511 reads
2 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
16th Nov 2021 2:17pm
16th Nov 2021 2:17pm
I don't want to
I don't want to
written March 14th, 2021
I don't want to
is the poem that doesn't want
to be written today
I don't want to
think write cry.
I look through
my unfinished notebook and
I don't want to
process revise reveal.
I don't want to!
I don't want to write
the same words
again and again
these same things
battering at my mind
day after day.
I don't want to pretend
everything is beautiful
just (pretend to) be happy.
I don't want
to be here lost in my head. ...
written March 14th, 2021
I don't want to
is the poem that doesn't want
to be written today
I don't want to
think write cry.
I look through
my unfinished notebook and
I don't want to
process revise reveal.
I don't want to!
I don't want to write
the same words
again and again
these same things
battering at my mind
day after day.
I don't want to pretend
everything is beautiful
just (pretend to) be happy.
I don't want
to be here lost in my head. ...
#WritersBlock
#LifeAsAWriter
#WritingPoetry
279 reads
0 Comments
OBSERVATIONAL POEM
Published
12th Nov 2021 2:14pm
12th Nov 2021 2:14pm
Dark rocks
white clouds nesting dark rocks
Cold Mountain, The Collected Songs of Cold Mountain
Dark rocks
written November 7th, 2021
Dark rocks rest
in a river bed
as rushing water
froths white in agitation
over their dark peaceful presence.
Dark rocks steadfastly witness
fish tails flickering
velvet deer noses drinking
and cicadas singing
as the moon sets
and the sun rises.
Nothing is lost.
Nothing is wasted.
All is known and seen
somewhere
in the depths of a river
by dark rocks ...
Cold Mountain, The Collected Songs of Cold Mountain
Dark rocks
written November 7th, 2021
Dark rocks rest
in a river bed
as rushing water
froths white in agitation
over their dark peaceful presence.
Dark rocks steadfastly witness
fish tails flickering
velvet deer noses drinking
and cicadas singing
as the moon sets
and the sun rises.
Nothing is lost.
Nothing is wasted.
All is known and seen
somewhere
in the depths of a river
by dark rocks ...
#nature
345 reads
2 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
9th Nov 2021 10:48pm
9th Nov 2021 10:48pm
together again
the terrifying silence
crashes around me
I'm afraid I will
be broken into pieces
that can't be put back
together again
I've done this before
pieced myself
together again
but I get so tired
of the fear that the
breaking will never end
crashes around me
I'm afraid I will
be broken into pieces
that can't be put back
together again
I've done this before
pieced myself
together again
but I get so tired
of the fear that the
breaking will never end
#insomnia
#PTSD
366 reads
2 Comments
STORY POEM
Published
7th Nov 2021 2:30pm
7th Nov 2021 2:30pm
Why there are cicadas - a tinnitus story
Why there are cicadas - a tinnitus story
written November 1st, 2021
One day there was a small child
who woke up in the night
to the sound of cicadas.
Her grownup comes in to check on her.
The small child doesn't talk very much.
She looks at the grownup and rubs her ears.
Her grownup asks, "Does the noise bother you?"
The small child nods yes.
The small child's eyes ask...
Why is it there?
What does it mean?
Why does it never stop?
Her grownup smiles and tells her...
Those are cicadas dear one ...
written November 1st, 2021
One day there was a small child
who woke up in the night
to the sound of cicadas.
Her grownup comes in to check on her.
The small child doesn't talk very much.
She looks at the grownup and rubs her ears.
Her grownup asks, "Does the noise bother you?"
The small child nods yes.
The small child's eyes ask...
Why is it there?
What does it mean?
Why does it never stop?
Her grownup smiles and tells her...
Those are cicadas dear one ...
#insomnia
#sleep
293 reads
0 Comments
OBSERVATIONAL POEM
Published
4th Nov 2021 7:43pm
4th Nov 2021 7:43pm
Breathing space
Breathing space
written November 3rd, 2021
Space stretches
into the distance
I send my breath
towards you
soft like a breeze
tickling your hair
embracing you
pooling around you
making this space
for you
to be
to rest
to feel peace
a breathing space.
written November 3rd, 2021
Space stretches
into the distance
I send my breath
towards you
soft like a breeze
tickling your hair
embracing you
pooling around you
making this space
for you
to be
to rest
to feel peace
a breathing space.
#peace
297 reads
6 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
1st Nov 2021 2:39pm
1st Nov 2021 2:39pm
I am not an apology
I am not an apology
started June 9th, 2021
I wanted this poem
to be a song declaring
that I am not an apology
but I am not there yet
I feel like something born then broken
spending my life apologizing
for not being able to fix myself
for not being what people wanted
Trying to stave off danger and hurt
I hurl apologies at the world
and the people in it.
I am sorry for being me.
.
.
.
One day
I want to stand here
in all my broken glory
for the world to see
and not apologize.
started June 9th, 2021
I wanted this poem
to be a song declaring
that I am not an apology
but I am not there yet
I feel like something born then broken
spending my life apologizing
for not being able to fix myself
for not being what people wanted
Trying to stave off danger and hurt
I hurl apologies at the world
and the people in it.
I am sorry for being me.
.
.
.
One day
I want to stand here
in all my broken glory
for the world to see
and not apologize.
#courage
#identity
#myself #SelfWorth
#myself #SelfWorth
329 reads
7 Comments
DU Poetry : Submissions by senid
