Submissions by myhero

The light of my flame,
my heart,
flickers across my face through my
cracker mirror.
I can faintly make out the crazed look
that's taken permanent residance
upon my features.
This addiction,
this game of tease my mind plays on me
is stronger than
the arms that used to
hold me,
warm me,
love me.
I need this warmth.
I slowly and carefully
ease the clear fluid out of the jug in my hands.
It falls into an exquisite swirl of
color around my frail toes.
I make eye contact with the beast in the mirror
claiming to be...

I knew this was it.
This was all I'd ever reach.
This is my nirvana.
It will only get worse from here.
So why not save myself the
trouble?

Beauty
is pain.
This has been my
mantra
for the last few weeks.
This is
beauty.
This is as close to true
beauty
as I will ever get,
with my finger stuck
halfway down my throat.
Beauty
is pain.

My thoughts intertwine
into a confusing array of thought,
most of which originated
with one word.
No.
I can do no,
I think as I take my last step
off of my little desk chair.