Submissions by morgan2-18
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Poet Introduction
I have been through a lot of things to be the age I am. I write to help me deal with PTSD, depression, anxiety and post suicidal thoughts. I love being able to relate to others who have been through similar things.
DARK POEM
Published
19th Feb 2018 2:42am
19th Feb 2018 2:42am
My Stars
1... 2... 3...
I count the stars in the night sky the way I count the scars on my skin
There are too many to count
4...5...6...
I divide the sky into quadrants representing each part of my body
There are so many
7...8...9...
I reach to feel the stars I see, wishing I could feel them the way I feel my pain
There isn't a way to describe it
10...11...12...
I continue to count... still in the first quadrant... still on one arm
There are so many, overlapping
13...14...15...
I take a break from the...
I count the stars in the night sky the way I count the scars on my skin
There are too many to count
4...5...6...
I divide the sky into quadrants representing each part of my body
There are so many
7...8...9...
I reach to feel the stars I see, wishing I could feel them the way I feel my pain
There isn't a way to describe it
10...11...12...
I continue to count... still in the first quadrant... still on one arm
There are so many, overlapping
13...14...15...
I take a break from the...
487 reads
2 Comments
MISCELLANEOUS POEM
Published
17th Feb 2018 11:37am
17th Feb 2018 11:37am
My Babysitter
I was 16 the first time I had a babysitter
It was early june
My first time
I was 13 the first time I tried to kill myself
It was after the rape
16, My second time
I was 16 the day I slit my wrist in my small town school bathroom
Four times to be exact
Then two more
"Im not bleeding enough" I said to myself
I cut again, the same spots
Blood, beautifully red
All over the walls and floor
The hospital was my home for the next two weeks
"Too late for stitches" the nurse said ...
It was early june
My first time
I was 13 the first time I tried to kill myself
It was after the rape
16, My second time
I was 16 the day I slit my wrist in my small town school bathroom
Four times to be exact
Then two more
"Im not bleeding enough" I said to myself
I cut again, the same spots
Blood, beautifully red
All over the walls and floor
The hospital was my home for the next two weeks
"Too late for stitches" the nurse said ...
477 reads
3 Comments
MISCELLANEOUS POEM
Published
17th Feb 2018 11:35am
17th Feb 2018 11:35am
Words
sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me"
what?
what if words do hurt me?
untrue words.
what if they effect my future?
made up words.
what if they break the skin the way sticks and stones are meant to break my bones?
spoken words.
what if I can't fix what others say about me?
my words.
what if people don't believe the things I say about myself?
true words.
what if this is everyday life?
what?
what if words do hurt me?
untrue words.
what if they effect my future?
made up words.
what if they break the skin the way sticks and stones are meant to break my bones?
spoken words.
what if I can't fix what others say about me?
my words.
what if people don't believe the things I say about myself?
true words.
what if this is everyday life?
483 reads
0 Comments
DARK POEM
Published
17th Feb 2018 3:25am
17th Feb 2018 3:25am
Nightmares
I used to have nightmare about silly stuff
I used to think the shadow of my mother's ceiling fan was a monster
It was easy to get away from those
All I had to do was pull the covers over my head
Growing up, I’ve realized a few things
I wanted to share them with everybody
Well, for one, bills are expensive
Second, drama never stops
But the most important thing I’ve learned
Not all nightmares can be pushed out of your head with thoughts of rainbows
Some nightmares aren't only livid and realistic
But they...
I used to think the shadow of my mother's ceiling fan was a monster
It was easy to get away from those
All I had to do was pull the covers over my head
Growing up, I’ve realized a few things
I wanted to share them with everybody
Well, for one, bills are expensive
Second, drama never stops
But the most important thing I’ve learned
Not all nightmares can be pushed out of your head with thoughts of rainbows
Some nightmares aren't only livid and realistic
But they...
462 reads
0 Comments
MISCELLANEOUS POEM
Published
17th Feb 2018 3:23am
17th Feb 2018 3:23am
Year after Year
Age 12 holding onto that blade
Praying my life, it would fade
Tired of fighting for survival
What I need? A major revival
Age 13, my old english class
"come to his party, have a glass"
18 years old, I get in his truck
"where is cheyanne?" I think im stuck
Pushed to the back, held onto like tape
He pulled up my dress, I knew it was rape
Age 14, a tub full of water
Cut after cut, my body gets hotter
Killing myself, praying to die
"Im okay" telling mama a lie
Feeling happy is only a wish
Numb to...
Praying my life, it would fade
Tired of fighting for survival
What I need? A major revival
Age 13, my old english class
"come to his party, have a glass"
18 years old, I get in his truck
"where is cheyanne?" I think im stuck
Pushed to the back, held onto like tape
He pulled up my dress, I knew it was rape
Age 14, a tub full of water
Cut after cut, my body gets hotter
Killing myself, praying to die
"Im okay" telling mama a lie
Feeling happy is only a wish
Numb to...
488 reads
0 Comments
DARK POEM
Published
16th Feb 2018 3:45pm
16th Feb 2018 3:45pm
Unknowing Assistant
Being depressed, I've always had thoughts
Suicidal thoughts
"I dont care" thoughts
It started with shaving razors
Then to dull, stolen razors
Lastly, brand new, sharp razors
He was a friend
He was innocent
He was my assistant
Cleaning my car
Thinking those thoughts
I found a pencil sharpener
He broke it, accidentally but I kept the blade
He was my unknowing assistant
To my assisted suicide
Suicidal thoughts
"I dont care" thoughts
It started with shaving razors
Then to dull, stolen razors
Lastly, brand new, sharp razors
He was a friend
He was innocent
He was my assistant
Cleaning my car
Thinking those thoughts
I found a pencil sharpener
He broke it, accidentally but I kept the blade
He was my unknowing assistant
To my assisted suicide
501 reads
0 Comments
DARK POEM
Published
16th Feb 2018 3:14pm
16th Feb 2018 3:14pm
Rivers to Oceans
Sometimes i don't think other people understand, what it's like to want to die. Sometimes, it hurts so bad that you are in physical pain, wishing to die.
People just think depression is being sad but it's not. I used to think the same thing, and for the first two or so years i thought i was right.
I could manage it, with surface cuts on my thighs. Distracting myself with other people's problems.
But then i started to notice that when it was dark and i was lonely, i just wanted to be dead. No specific reason, just wanted to be dead.
Then one day,...
People just think depression is being sad but it's not. I used to think the same thing, and for the first two or so years i thought i was right.
I could manage it, with surface cuts on my thighs. Distracting myself with other people's problems.
But then i started to notice that when it was dark and i was lonely, i just wanted to be dead. No specific reason, just wanted to be dead.
Then one day,...
520 reads
1 Comment
MISCELLANEOUS POEM
Published
15th Feb 2018 3:11pm
15th Feb 2018 3:11pm
Red Bracelets
I never thought my red bracelets would go away.
You know, the matching necklace set he gave me?
I didn't like them… at all.
The morning of December 12th, 2016.
He gave me the gift I had never wanted.
If I would've known, I wouldn't have meet him.
The unwanted kissing and touching.
The unwanted looks and aggressiveness.
I was so shocked.
He was like a brother.
Although I knew he liked me,
I never thought that would be his gift.
Adding onto my PTSD
Rape? Check.
Sexual assault? Check
...
You know, the matching necklace set he gave me?
I didn't like them… at all.
The morning of December 12th, 2016.
He gave me the gift I had never wanted.
If I would've known, I wouldn't have meet him.
The unwanted kissing and touching.
The unwanted looks and aggressiveness.
I was so shocked.
He was like a brother.
Although I knew he liked me,
I never thought that would be his gift.
Adding onto my PTSD
Rape? Check.
Sexual assault? Check
...
593 reads
3 Comments
MISCELLANEOUS POEM
Published
15th Feb 2018 3:06pm
15th Feb 2018 3:06pm
"Like a Man"
Do you ever have nightmares?
Completely, and utterly scared to close your eyes?
Scared to look at your own body?
I do.
But they've slowed down a little.
Have you ever held something in for years?
Joked about it like it was supposed to happen?
Laughed about what was said?
I have.
But it just made it worse.
“You took it like a man”
That's what he said to me after
Kind of makes you think doesn't it?
“You took it like a man”
Joked my eighth grade best friend
What's that even supposed to...
Completely, and utterly scared to close your eyes?
Scared to look at your own body?
I do.
But they've slowed down a little.
Have you ever held something in for years?
Joked about it like it was supposed to happen?
Laughed about what was said?
I have.
But it just made it worse.
“You took it like a man”
That's what he said to me after
Kind of makes you think doesn't it?
“You took it like a man”
Joked my eighth grade best friend
What's that even supposed to...
551 reads
1 Comment
DU Poetry : Submissions by morgan2-18
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