Submissions by jinabell21 (Jina Bella)
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
NON-FICTION PROSE
Published
17th Nov 2014 2:32am
17th Nov 2014 2:32am
Eating Disorder
Anorexia isn't just "don't eat."
It's the constant fear of ingesting calories by breathing, drinking, or even thinking.
It's not being able to walk or stand for long periods of time.
It's about seeing stars when you moved too quickly.
It's having every single little thought revolve around food.
It's hunger pains so bad you can't get out of bed.
It's washing your hair in the shower and having clumps fall out.
Actually, your hair is EVERYWHERE. On your clothes, your bed, your books.
It's losing your memory, your friends, and your sanity.
It's...
It's the constant fear of ingesting calories by breathing, drinking, or even thinking.
It's not being able to walk or stand for long periods of time.
It's about seeing stars when you moved too quickly.
It's having every single little thought revolve around food.
It's hunger pains so bad you can't get out of bed.
It's washing your hair in the shower and having clumps fall out.
Actually, your hair is EVERYWHERE. On your clothes, your bed, your books.
It's losing your memory, your friends, and your sanity.
It's...
605 reads
1 Comment
NON-FICTION PROSE
Published
7th Nov 2014 00:29am
7th Nov 2014 00:29am
Retail
I can't stand you.
All of your sunken in faces.
Your hollowed bones.
Your soulless shells of the people you once were.
Dark eyes.
Cracked smiles.
Blood spilling out from your rib cages.
Bugs crawling out from under your skin.
Shut up.
Don't bother me.
A girl of the living forced to work with those among the dead.
There wounds fester.
They spread.
The disease threatens to overtake me.
Coughing up blood.
"Shit shit shit."
Tears stream down my face.
Stumbling towards the mirror horror takes over.
The girl...
All of your sunken in faces.
Your hollowed bones.
Your soulless shells of the people you once were.
Dark eyes.
Cracked smiles.
Blood spilling out from your rib cages.
Bugs crawling out from under your skin.
Shut up.
Don't bother me.
A girl of the living forced to work with those among the dead.
There wounds fester.
They spread.
The disease threatens to overtake me.
Coughing up blood.
"Shit shit shit."
Tears stream down my face.
Stumbling towards the mirror horror takes over.
The girl...
540 reads
0 Comments
LOVE POEM
Published
25th Sep 2014 2:49am
25th Sep 2014 2:49am
Hopeless.
I've been in love.
It's painful, pointless, and overrated.
Yet I crave it so, I'm a bit of a contradiction you see.
I crave to be touched, by someone. Anyone. Just to feel alive for a moment. Just to feel anything, anything but misery.
Yet I flinch every time someone is close enough.
I have become rather fearful I suppose.
It's a tragedy when the hopeless romantic turns into the frost bitten realist.
For you see, when HE broke my heart, I spent my time wandering in search for a place I'd call home again.
Arms holding me felt more like a home rather...
It's painful, pointless, and overrated.
Yet I crave it so, I'm a bit of a contradiction you see.
I crave to be touched, by someone. Anyone. Just to feel alive for a moment. Just to feel anything, anything but misery.
Yet I flinch every time someone is close enough.
I have become rather fearful I suppose.
It's a tragedy when the hopeless romantic turns into the frost bitten realist.
For you see, when HE broke my heart, I spent my time wandering in search for a place I'd call home again.
Arms holding me felt more like a home rather...
794 reads
0 Comments
NON-FICTION PROSE
Published
17th Sep 2014 1:56am
17th Sep 2014 1:56am
Father
Seven in counting. I really assumed six would be enough don't you think?
I.. I expected many things from you
But this.. I never expected this..
So I'm not the youngest of your children anymore right?
This new bouncing baby boy
Elias
He's cute, he's little with fluffy black hair, and deep brown eyes
I bare no ill will towards him, towards my new..brother
It's not his fault
He's an innocent child
He'll never know
Of me, or my sister
Or all of the other children you have
And if he does he'll probably never meet us, right?
Just like the one...
I.. I expected many things from you
But this.. I never expected this..
So I'm not the youngest of your children anymore right?
This new bouncing baby boy
Elias
He's cute, he's little with fluffy black hair, and deep brown eyes
I bare no ill will towards him, towards my new..brother
It's not his fault
He's an innocent child
He'll never know
Of me, or my sister
Or all of the other children you have
And if he does he'll probably never meet us, right?
Just like the one...
776 reads
LOVE POEM
Published
6th Sep 2014 7:20pm
6th Sep 2014 7:20pm
Contentment
It's a simple victory really
It's a joyous moment when you for once don't taste defeat
Back into the normal simplicities of life
Work
School
Homework
Mental breakdown
Sleep
And repeat.
Yet while wandering aimlessly I saw you
You who will not be named, not anymore for you don't deserve to be
All this time I imagined running up to you
Babbling mindlessly about things that didn't really matter
I wondered what we would talk about, what we would do together
I wondered what forever would feel like
But the funny thing is
Once I...
It's a joyous moment when you for once don't taste defeat
Back into the normal simplicities of life
Work
School
Homework
Mental breakdown
Sleep
And repeat.
Yet while wandering aimlessly I saw you
You who will not be named, not anymore for you don't deserve to be
All this time I imagined running up to you
Babbling mindlessly about things that didn't really matter
I wondered what we would talk about, what we would do together
I wondered what forever would feel like
But the funny thing is
Once I...
635 reads
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SELF POEM
Published
27th Jul 2014 3:50am
27th Jul 2014 3:50am
What's left
What a happy looking girl
It seemed she had the world
Cherished by family and friends
To be together until the very end
College bound and trying on her own
Working for the things she wished to own
There was a fatal flaw in this little tart
She wasn't very smart when it came to rules of the heart
"Oh now, sweetie it'll be okay."
Tears slide down her cheeks, knowing he had gone away
Left her insides rotting, her mind tainted and dark
He eyes didn't shine as bright, there seemed to be...
It seemed she had the world
Cherished by family and friends
To be together until the very end
College bound and trying on her own
Working for the things she wished to own
There was a fatal flaw in this little tart
She wasn't very smart when it came to rules of the heart
"Oh now, sweetie it'll be okay."
Tears slide down her cheeks, knowing he had gone away
Left her insides rotting, her mind tainted and dark
He eyes didn't shine as bright, there seemed to be...
712 reads
1 Comment
LOVE POEM
Published
25th Jul 2014 10:56am
25th Jul 2014 10:56am
Who are you?
"I'd like to think we had it all."
You left, remember that? You left me, you ruined my mind before I even realized it. I'm sorry if I don't completely understand the situation, but why did you decide to come back into my life?
Was it because I'm trying to do well at a new job?
Or perhaps because I'm doing well in college?
How about because I have friends and family that actually care about my well being?
Better yet, is it because I'm just simply happy, or at least I thought I was. Now everything's thrown out of balance.
"I was...
You left, remember that? You left me, you ruined my mind before I even realized it. I'm sorry if I don't completely understand the situation, but why did you decide to come back into my life?
Was it because I'm trying to do well at a new job?
Or perhaps because I'm doing well in college?
How about because I have friends and family that actually care about my well being?
Better yet, is it because I'm just simply happy, or at least I thought I was. Now everything's thrown out of balance.
"I was...
638 reads
0 Comments
NON-FICTION PROSE
Published
25th Jun 2014 5:49am
25th Jun 2014 5:49am
Over it
My eye twitches like a child with turrets
My smile falters when you all laugh at something idiotic
God you're all morons
"Keep up a front, be nice. Act like you're happy."
Will you please just kindly, go slit your throat and bleed out on the floor of Walmart.
Why do I surround myself with people I don't even like
Barely tolerate, much like flies buzzing around you during a hot summer day.
Annoyances.
"You need to play nice. You might still need to hitch rides when college starts in the fall."
I...
My smile falters when you all laugh at something idiotic
God you're all morons
"Keep up a front, be nice. Act like you're happy."
Will you please just kindly, go slit your throat and bleed out on the floor of Walmart.
Why do I surround myself with people I don't even like
Barely tolerate, much like flies buzzing around you during a hot summer day.
Annoyances.
"You need to play nice. You might still need to hitch rides when college starts in the fall."
I...
638 reads
0 Comments
LOVE POEM
Published
9th Jun 2014 1:57am
9th Jun 2014 1:57am
Confusion
What the hell am I to you?
A companion, one to spend time with and tell your secrets to, well aware I'll keep then safe.
A lover, someone who wants you more than can be described, craving your touch, your smell, your smile.
A stranger, a face passing through the crowd going unnoticed by your warm brown eyes.
So please, tell me. What the hell am I to you? How is it possible I feel all of these at once?
I haven't heard from you since the last day of the semester, then you just, disappeared.
I understand life gets in the way, work, family, and...
A companion, one to spend time with and tell your secrets to, well aware I'll keep then safe.
A lover, someone who wants you more than can be described, craving your touch, your smell, your smile.
A stranger, a face passing through the crowd going unnoticed by your warm brown eyes.
So please, tell me. What the hell am I to you? How is it possible I feel all of these at once?
I haven't heard from you since the last day of the semester, then you just, disappeared.
I understand life gets in the way, work, family, and...
585 reads
1 Comment
NON-FICTION PROSE
Published
1st Jun 2014 5:55am
1st Jun 2014 5:55am
Height
Too long
Too tall
God these legs go on forever
Towering over my friends
Disregarding the boys shorter than myself
"How's the weather up there?"
Oh. Ha ha. You're SO funny, because I haven't heard that before.
"You're so tall."
Really? Oh am I? Why thank you for point that out to me I was under the impression that I was a petite 5'1".
"It must be hard to find a boyfriend."
Unfortunately, you are correct. Dating a girl is easy because their usually shorter than myself and I find it...
Too tall
God these legs go on forever
Towering over my friends
Disregarding the boys shorter than myself
"How's the weather up there?"
Oh. Ha ha. You're SO funny, because I haven't heard that before.
"You're so tall."
Really? Oh am I? Why thank you for point that out to me I was under the impression that I was a petite 5'1".
"It must be hard to find a boyfriend."
Unfortunately, you are correct. Dating a girl is easy because their usually shorter than myself and I find it...
609 reads
0 Comments
LOVE POEM
Published
26th May 2014 3:17am
26th May 2014 3:17am
My heart is my own, still
Ex's are a lesson.
They're bad memories entertwined with good ones as well.
Some as light as a feather, but most crushing like boulders.
Now curiosity took a hold of me
*Logs onto Facebook*
Let me just go to their profile
Oh wait
I didn't realize I'm blocked
Seriously?
Yet you'll have your friends follow me around so you can text them talking poorly of me
Or when I walk by you can't look me in the eye, but as soon as my back's turned you'll open your ugly mouth
Spineless coward
Disturbed asshole
I hope you rot
I hope the voices in...
They're bad memories entertwined with good ones as well.
Some as light as a feather, but most crushing like boulders.
Now curiosity took a hold of me
*Logs onto Facebook*
Let me just go to their profile
Oh wait
I didn't realize I'm blocked
Seriously?
Yet you'll have your friends follow me around so you can text them talking poorly of me
Or when I walk by you can't look me in the eye, but as soon as my back's turned you'll open your ugly mouth
Spineless coward
Disturbed asshole
I hope you rot
I hope the voices in...
596 reads
1 Comment
SELF POEM
Published
25th May 2014 1:06am
25th May 2014 1:06am
Self conscious
They don't understand
They don't see it
The stretch marks
The wrinkles on the legs
The bulging in my middle
Like a demon pushing it's way out
Threatening to rip myself apart
The chubbier cheeks
The thickness.
"Real men like women with curves. Only dogs like bones."
You don't understand
As a girl who used to be nothing but bones..this..this feels wrong.
"You look healthy."
Was that an insult? How dare you, I don't want to look "healthy"'
"I think...
They don't see it
The stretch marks
The wrinkles on the legs
The bulging in my middle
Like a demon pushing it's way out
Threatening to rip myself apart
The chubbier cheeks
The thickness.
"Real men like women with curves. Only dogs like bones."
You don't understand
As a girl who used to be nothing but bones..this..this feels wrong.
"You look healthy."
Was that an insult? How dare you, I don't want to look "healthy"'
"I think...
621 reads
DU Poetry : Submissions by jinabell21 (Jina Bella)
