Submissions by h_kay

i'm lying on my back in the fetal position, sobbing in on the shower floor.
no sound will come out accept me gasping desperately for air.
i held the blade to my skin
one
two
three
i lost count after the 20th mark
my blood is mixing with the water rushing down the drain.
i can't feel anything.
pulling myself together, i put on a pair of joggers and a hoodie and show up at your door.
no matter much it hurts to see you with her,
i will still be right by your side when you need me.
or when you get excited about something with her and...

my mind almost breaks
thinking about the way you love her
wondering how many times you've kissed her
dwelling on the thought of you being intimate with her
i feel it eating away at me
i don't want to love you right now
yet you're everything i want
and when you're mine
the only thing i can see is you with all of the other girls
you loved after me
and it shatters every piece of my soul
to know
that i am nothing more to you
than another girl to love

i know this is the right decision
so why are there so many tears rushing down my cheeks?
i must let you go this time
for months
or for years
and allow myself to heal from the things you've done
because
love makes you do things
that may hurt you
while you are attempting to fix them
and right now
i want to do every wrong thing
in the name of loving you