Submissions by Unredeemed (Vickie)

One day down and still no direction.
And I guess its true,
I am blinded by my own perception.

I wish I had some clarity, but I can't see through the mud.
Tricked into thinking those were good days lulled to sleep by the fun.

I don't understand,
I know I was not promised something easy,
but it feels like every breath that I take is the breath that will kill me.

This air feels toxic, I can taste it and I'm losing my my mind.
I cry because I'm HELPLESS, I can't help it, I can't help them.

If my mind was all I lost...

You’re Welcome

You’re welcome for my childhood. You used it well. I realize now that I let you take it.... You’re welcome for my young adult years. You don’t even know this, but I gave those years to your memory. You weren’t even a part of my life, but I let you control every decision, action and relationship that I made... And you’re welcome for my present, because even though I know now what I didn’t then, I still can’t seem to live... And I’ll even go head and say, you’re welcome to my future. I can seem to do nothing but to keep offering you my life. You’re welcome for never...

Waking up is heavy lifting...

Minds already drifting...

Tell myself "today will be different"

"You dont have to be so distant"

Brush my teeth, brush my hair,

"You will not feel the deep despair"

Get dressed! "IGNORE THE PRESSURE IN YOUR CHEST"

"FOCUS!" "you can do this, I promise you'll get through this!"

Make the coffee, wake the kids,

Take a breathe, dont let this win.

Get them dressed, clean up their mess

"You do not have to be depressed!"

Smile politely, nod...