Submissions by Pepperdust
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
SELF POEM
Published
6th Jun 2019 5:47pm
6th Jun 2019 5:47pm
Paradise of fools
Today never happened.
At least that's what I keep telling myself.
I didn't hurt anyone, I didn't feel like crap.
No, there were no tears before or after his visit, both cases non related to him.
There were absolutely no regrets or hate for mankind. No remembering past traumas, not even the smell of something burning.
No cold coffee, no falling in the shower.
There were no cuts, no faking, no one catching me with red eyes.
I didn't run out of cigarettes nor did I wish I was dead.
No one saw me naked and ran away, again.
Certainly my son didn't...
At least that's what I keep telling myself.
I didn't hurt anyone, I didn't feel like crap.
No, there were no tears before or after his visit, both cases non related to him.
There were absolutely no regrets or hate for mankind. No remembering past traumas, not even the smell of something burning.
No cold coffee, no falling in the shower.
There were no cuts, no faking, no one catching me with red eyes.
I didn't run out of cigarettes nor did I wish I was dead.
No one saw me naked and ran away, again.
Certainly my son didn't...
#sadness
#anxiety
#depression
#loneliness
#denial
441 reads
6 Comments
DARK POEM
Published
2nd May 2019 2:59pm
2nd May 2019 2:59pm
The girl in the room
Words don't matter when pervertion deafens your soul.
I said and repeated "no, please, no" but I never screamed.
Maybe I should have, even though I think it would make no difference. Sick bastards never listen. Or maybe they do, but I guess they like making us beg, a fucked up way to feel powerful.
So I became silence, nothing on my head but my blood flowing, my mouth as a graveyard of my emotions, not a single breath escaped as if I was dead under your movements, that as the only sound in that dark room. I think there was a window there somewhere allowing the moonlight in...
I said and repeated "no, please, no" but I never screamed.
Maybe I should have, even though I think it would make no difference. Sick bastards never listen. Or maybe they do, but I guess they like making us beg, a fucked up way to feel powerful.
So I became silence, nothing on my head but my blood flowing, my mouth as a graveyard of my emotions, not a single breath escaped as if I was dead under your movements, that as the only sound in that dark room. I think there was a window there somewhere allowing the moonlight in...
#dark
#abuse
#silence
#tragedy
#hurt
558 reads
3 Comments
EROTIC POEM
Published
30th Apr 2019 6:21am
30th Apr 2019 6:21am
Distraction exercise
#lust
#sex
689 reads
6 Comments
MISCELLANEOUS POEM
Published
9th Apr 2019 11:37am
9th Apr 2019 11:37am
Decoding
You asked me to stop being subtle and then we fucked with the lights on.
After a couple of months in and out of talking through our phones, you told me while lying on my bed that you're married to science. Were you trying to say that it would prevent us from having anything deeper than what my throat did for your dick? Cause I don't remember asking you for anything else.
Now it's been days since the last time we talked and I feel weird for not caring enough to ask you why. I can't say I like you but I'd be lying if I said I feel nothing, even if it's just curiosity. I guess that's...
After a couple of months in and out of talking through our phones, you told me while lying on my bed that you're married to science. Were you trying to say that it would prevent us from having anything deeper than what my throat did for your dick? Cause I don't remember asking you for anything else.
Now it's been days since the last time we talked and I feel weird for not caring enough to ask you why. I can't say I like you but I'd be lying if I said I feel nothing, even if it's just curiosity. I guess that's...
#conflict
#misunderstood
#apathy
478 reads
3 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
5th Apr 2019 5:53am
5th Apr 2019 5:53am
Boredom management
Different sets of hands along my body, exploring tainted secrets of my existence. I expose myself to strangers, not that many, not that few. They see how my left breast is bigger than the right one and the scar on my left thigh where a broken beer bottle fell six or seven years ago. I tell them about when I was a little kid and used to smash different types of leaves to see which one had more "green juice" in it, even though they just wanna hear my monossilabic expressions of pleasure.
We don't go out on dates, I don't tell them my son's name. We just use each others for mindless,...
We don't go out on dates, I don't tell them my son's name. We just use each others for mindless,...
#relationships
#boredom
432 reads
2 Comments
MISCELLANEOUS POEM
Published
16th Jan 2019 5:49am
16th Jan 2019 5:49am
Chains of routine
Her melancholic voice just for me.
The landscape out the window.
The city running after me,
or is it me running away?
The cold embrace of my clothes wet with raindrops,
The loneliness of being surrounded by the unknown.
The sadness of knowing that I will never belong.
Or is it freedom?
The train stops, my heart doesn't
My journey hasn't yet reach the end.
The landscape out the window.
The city running after me,
or is it me running away?
The cold embrace of my clothes wet with raindrops,
The loneliness of being surrounded by the unknown.
The sadness of knowing that I will never belong.
Or is it freedom?
The train stops, my heart doesn't
My journey hasn't yet reach the end.
#escape
425 reads
1 Comment
MISCELLANEOUS POEM
Published
2nd Jan 2019 4:18am
2nd Jan 2019 4:18am
Glowing box of virtual dynamics
I never know what to expect. Hundreds of faces mixing up as I turn them left on my little piece of heaven. This magic piece of glass and other materials make my life easier and is sometimes my only company. I don't even need to exist outside of it, my friends are all so distant and our friendship became traveling words sailing in an intangible sea.
Virtual connections, thumbs up and hearts when you swipe right, everything you need inside your reach.
Love to go, mutual masturbation and then you're ready to sleep. Bye, nickname, see you next time.
Virtual connections, thumbs up and hearts when you swipe right, everything you need inside your reach.
Love to go, mutual masturbation and then you're ready to sleep. Bye, nickname, see you next time.
#relationships
#technology
409 reads
1 Comment
SELF POEM
Published
27th Sep 2018 10:26am
27th Sep 2018 10:26am
Pitch black
At first I thought my eyes were tricked by the lights or the mirror.
That blackness couldn't possibly belong to a pair of human eyes.
Dark, vibrant circles of pure obscurity, peephole to a tormented mind, attic of a cold house devoid of emotions, selfishness as the reigning feeling, instinct as the true guide.
Empty chest, murk yet appealing smile, poisoned words slipping through cold lips to eager ears of a desperate soul. Desperate for attention, for a single moment of breathlessness in a world filled with air.
Turns out those were the most human eyes of all. ...
That blackness couldn't possibly belong to a pair of human eyes.
Dark, vibrant circles of pure obscurity, peephole to a tormented mind, attic of a cold house devoid of emotions, selfishness as the reigning feeling, instinct as the true guide.
Empty chest, murk yet appealing smile, poisoned words slipping through cold lips to eager ears of a desperate soul. Desperate for attention, for a single moment of breathlessness in a world filled with air.
Turns out those were the most human eyes of all. ...
#confessional
#SelfDiscovery
632 reads
2 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
12th Sep 2018 10:19am
12th Sep 2018 10:19am
Dawn's routine
My eyes hurt; I'm tired.
I need to eat. I don't want to eat anything.
I'm hungry.
I'm tired, I don't want to live.
I want to do a lot of things.
I need to study. I don't want to study.
I can't focus; I want to read.
I want to dive, I don't want to be on a boat.
I want to explore by not being the observer.
I want to know things, to have knowledge. I can barely go out of the house, rarely.
I want to find purpose, but I believe in God.
I want to find happiness, but I know it doesn't last.
I need to eat. I don't want to eat anything.
I'm hungry.
I'm tired, I don't want to live.
I want to do a lot of things.
I need to study. I don't want to study.
I can't focus; I want to read.
I want to dive, I don't want to be on a boat.
I want to explore by not being the observer.
I want to know things, to have knowledge. I can barely go out of the house, rarely.
I want to find purpose, but I believe in God.
I want to find happiness, but I know it doesn't last.
#confusion
#emptiness
#apathy
619 reads
4 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
25th Aug 2018 6:39am
25th Aug 2018 6:39am
Time to think
I don't want to live up to a time when I won't feel bad and won't hurt all the time. This day may never come, I may never be better, so I have to face my reality and understand who I am and where I stand and what I stand for in order to try and be happy despite my emotional and psychological issues. I have to live my life, have my goals and desires, follow my senses and intuition, doing things that make me feel good and that give me little moments of happiness. If you think about it, no one is always happy so maybe no one is always sad as well.
Always walking a path to balance, that's...
Always walking a path to balance, that's...
#learning
490 reads
0 Comments
DARK POEM
Published
9th Feb 2018 10:23am
9th Feb 2018 10:23am
Smokes and mirrors.
Cold blue night, tar sky out the window, red wine. I see forms forming in the smoke, the condensation from my breath dancing with the death of my cigarette. I see my future and my past, a fading image of these two things merging into a morbid sensation that rises on my spine, goosebumps taking over my skin. I see the lines of possibilities to all the yeses and noes of my twenty-three years on this earth. Many of my negatives should have been affirmatives and so is the other way around, my choices cutting deeper and deeper, my blood pouring and filling up the cup of my conscience. It's a...
714 reads
2 Comments
DU Poetry : Submissions by Pepperdust
