Submissions by Nil (Nolan)
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
SPIRITUAL POEM
Published
25th Feb 2025 11:00pm
25th Feb 2025 11:00pm
Erlik
Everyday I do austerities to the spirits.
I starve.
I don't drink water.
I bear pain I cause myself.
I don't feed my addictions
Self destructive spirituality.
I'm stuck in a mystical head space.
One foot here.
Another out there.
Where the Gods dance.
And I, an outsider there.
As I am here.
Hang out in burial grounds.
Starving like the mangy animal I am.
Embrace the change of death.
The shedding of skin of spring.
I am the wisdom of the trickster.
Always leave them guessing.
Never be the same....
I starve.
I don't drink water.
I bear pain I cause myself.
I don't feed my addictions
Self destructive spirituality.
I'm stuck in a mystical head space.
One foot here.
Another out there.
Where the Gods dance.
And I, an outsider there.
As I am here.
Hang out in burial grounds.
Starving like the mangy animal I am.
Embrace the change of death.
The shedding of skin of spring.
I am the wisdom of the trickster.
Always leave them guessing.
Never be the same....
#fate
#pagan
#sacrifice
61 reads
1 Comment
DARK POEM
Published
25th Feb 2025 10:53pm
25th Feb 2025 10:53pm
The Rattlesnake Parable
He called me high tension.
As though the random violent outbursts.
Off my meds.
Weren't normal for me.
They say, get off em, you don't need them.
You're not crazy.
Then when I do the depression takes over.
And the delusions.
And the paranoia.
And the rage.
I impulsively lash out at everyone.
A danger to myself and other people.
A sheafed knife.
Tight water surface.
Chaotic and impulsive.
Reading the worst into what you're saying.
Any excuse for my euphoria.
When the hate takes over.
...
As though the random violent outbursts.
Off my meds.
Weren't normal for me.
They say, get off em, you don't need them.
You're not crazy.
Then when I do the depression takes over.
And the delusions.
And the paranoia.
And the rage.
I impulsively lash out at everyone.
A danger to myself and other people.
A sheafed knife.
Tight water surface.
Chaotic and impulsive.
Reading the worst into what you're saying.
Any excuse for my euphoria.
When the hate takes over.
...
#anger
#despair
#frustration
39 reads
0 Comments
DARK POEM
Published
23rd Feb 2025 9:33pm
23rd Feb 2025 9:33pm
Exegesis.
#curse
#dark
#emptiness
27 reads
0 Comments
LOVE POEM
Published
23rd Feb 2025 3:16am
23rd Feb 2025 3:16am
Poorly Worded Closure for a Girl I Used to Know
I met the girl of my dreams.
An existential compliment.
To everything I thought I wanted.
And,
We didn't really stay together.
At the end.
We just didn't care.
But, we were inseparable from the start.
A passion past by on lazy hazy grey days.
Where the sun hides behind dismal clouds.
Brooding in the sky.
She was my own personal manic pixie dream girl.
That I heard about in movies.
I never watch.
Yet,
I pushed her away.
I cheated,
I lied,
I took her for granted.
I acted...
An existential compliment.
To everything I thought I wanted.
And,
We didn't really stay together.
At the end.
We just didn't care.
But, we were inseparable from the start.
A passion past by on lazy hazy grey days.
Where the sun hides behind dismal clouds.
Brooding in the sky.
She was my own personal manic pixie dream girl.
That I heard about in movies.
I never watch.
Yet,
I pushed her away.
I cheated,
I lied,
I took her for granted.
I acted...
#bittersweet
#breakup
#MovingOn
53 reads
0 Comments
ANGER POEM
Published
23rd Feb 2025 1:47am
23rd Feb 2025 1:47am
In my Mind I've Killed you Already.
#anger
#dark
#passion
32 reads
0 Comments
MISCELLANEOUS POEM
Published
22nd Feb 2025 6:55pm
22nd Feb 2025 6:55pm
At Least I'm Resilient
The wind blows through the emptiness.
Of this place.
Out here in nowhere.
The climate is harsh.
It.
Bites.
No matter the season.
In the cities.
The wind exhausts itself.
Without the vast brushstrokes of prairie indigo at sunrise.
And sunset.
And the wind is usually.
Tearing through the streets.
Accentuating the cold.
By twenty degrees.
Below zero.
Whether it's wheat or snow.
Something always envelops the horizon.
As I'm lost at the height.
Of the sky.
These cumulus...
Of this place.
Out here in nowhere.
The climate is harsh.
It.
Bites.
No matter the season.
In the cities.
The wind exhausts itself.
Without the vast brushstrokes of prairie indigo at sunrise.
And sunset.
And the wind is usually.
Tearing through the streets.
Accentuating the cold.
By twenty degrees.
Below zero.
Whether it's wheat or snow.
Something always envelops the horizon.
As I'm lost at the height.
Of the sky.
These cumulus...
#snow
28 reads
0 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
22nd Feb 2025 5:43pm
22nd Feb 2025 5:43pm
A Deep Tragic Sadness
Sing a song.
Make it sad.
Cause I'm crying without.
These meds.
It's too early to fantasize about.
Success.
But I welcome the return.
Of emotion.
Even though.
My past isn't something.
I can deal with.
Right now.
Without the chemical lobotomy.
I'm depressed.
Everything has a personal meaning.
That I remember.
So I just have to push past.
This.
Incoherent mass of.
Feelings.
That were muted and benign.
Before, but not now.
Now they're prescient.
My tears well up...
Make it sad.
Cause I'm crying without.
These meds.
It's too early to fantasize about.
Success.
But I welcome the return.
Of emotion.
Even though.
My past isn't something.
I can deal with.
Right now.
Without the chemical lobotomy.
I'm depressed.
Everything has a personal meaning.
That I remember.
So I just have to push past.
This.
Incoherent mass of.
Feelings.
That were muted and benign.
Before, but not now.
Now they're prescient.
My tears well up...
#confusion
#denial
#emptiness
41 reads
0 Comments
MISCELLANEOUS POEM
Published
21st Feb 2025 5:05pm
21st Feb 2025 5:05pm
Theta wave Thought Contractions.
I desire a long.
Resfull sleep.
That I don't wake up from.
Some kinda self similar.
Fractal pattern.
That grows in one dimension.
Slumber until I'm consumed.
By moss and other.
Lichen.
Sleeping beauty found his rest.
And rots.
As all lovely things turn to dust.
Receding into darkness.
As somethings playing.
Theta wave thought contractions.
Resfull sleep.
That I don't wake up from.
Some kinda self similar.
Fractal pattern.
That grows in one dimension.
Slumber until I'm consumed.
By moss and other.
Lichen.
Sleeping beauty found his rest.
And rots.
As all lovely things turn to dust.
Receding into darkness.
As somethings playing.
Theta wave thought contractions.
#shadows
40 reads
0 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
21st Feb 2025 5:01pm
21st Feb 2025 5:01pm
Into Dreams
I slept through.
My reason to live.
Somehow ended up in.
Here.
Apparently I'm resilient.
Resistant to the drug induced coma.
I find myself in every night.
Vivid dreams I don't want to leave.
Did I see you in there?
In my kaleidoscope nightmare.
These ashen memories are indistinguishable.
From my dreams.
I may have known you.
In real life.
But I can't tell.
Cause the passing chaotic visions.
Rouse me from my.
Slumber.
My reason to live.
Somehow ended up in.
Here.
Apparently I'm resilient.
Resistant to the drug induced coma.
I find myself in every night.
Vivid dreams I don't want to leave.
Did I see you in there?
In my kaleidoscope nightmare.
These ashen memories are indistinguishable.
From my dreams.
I may have known you.
In real life.
But I can't tell.
Cause the passing chaotic visions.
Rouse me from my.
Slumber.
#emptiness
35 reads
0 Comments
OBSERVATIONAL POEM
Published
20th Feb 2025 6:08pm
20th Feb 2025 6:08pm
I Don't See a Rainbow
The sun is up and it blinds my sight.
With
all this snow.
A flashbang grenade went off.
As my eyes water and recoil in pain.
At the brilliance of the light.
I am bathed in blindness.
Glaring on the horizon.
The oppressive omnipresent light.
That binds me to walk blindly.
I'm praying for dirt, something to break up the glare.
Of the sun reflected from the ground.
Directly into my eyes with a luminescent halo.
It's refracted.
Yet I don't see a rainbow.
I just lurch along the road.
With
all this snow.
A flashbang grenade went off.
As my eyes water and recoil in pain.
At the brilliance of the light.
I am bathed in blindness.
Glaring on the horizon.
The oppressive omnipresent light.
That binds me to walk blindly.
I'm praying for dirt, something to break up the glare.
Of the sun reflected from the ground.
Directly into my eyes with a luminescent halo.
It's refracted.
Yet I don't see a rainbow.
I just lurch along the road.
#sky
22 reads
0 Comments
DRUGS POEM
Published
20th Feb 2025 6:00pm
20th Feb 2025 6:00pm
Waking Up
What if all this misery.
Was as simple.
As getting the dose.
Right.
I'd be aghast at the stupidity of it.
If it were true that.
These doldrums.
I keep wallowing in.
Were just a balance of
Neurochemicals.
In my brain.
That I never got.
Quite right.
Maybe the despair was less poignant.
Less precise.
Than an equal measure.
Of a bitter pill.
Where does my inspiration go.
For these bleak little snapshots.
Of my private life.
These odes to anihilation?
I might have...
Was as simple.
As getting the dose.
Right.
I'd be aghast at the stupidity of it.
If it were true that.
These doldrums.
I keep wallowing in.
Were just a balance of
Neurochemicals.
In my brain.
That I never got.
Quite right.
Maybe the despair was less poignant.
Less precise.
Than an equal measure.
Of a bitter pill.
Where does my inspiration go.
For these bleak little snapshots.
Of my private life.
These odes to anihilation?
I might have...
#emotions
#happiness
50 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : Submissions by Nil (Nolan)
