Submissions by Nil (Nolan)
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
MISCELLANEOUS POEM
Published
12th Mar 2025 11:45pm
12th Mar 2025 11:45pm
Simple
The sun out here is so bright.
Around the snaking slippery banks.
Of this creek.
It's still winter.
But the snow is melting into peculiar puddles.
That line the slushy snow.
There's always reserved ravens.
And a couple of crows.
Looming ominously over the skeletal remains of the glen by the creek.
Stillness.
Dried out carcasses.
Of recycled animals.
Brown and black with dirt.
It's quiet.
Out here.
In the boonies.
WIth the shrill cold wind blowing through leaveless trees.
Around the snaking slippery banks.
Of this creek.
It's still winter.
But the snow is melting into peculiar puddles.
That line the slushy snow.
There's always reserved ravens.
And a couple of crows.
Looming ominously over the skeletal remains of the glen by the creek.
Stillness.
Dried out carcasses.
Of recycled animals.
Brown and black with dirt.
It's quiet.
Out here.
In the boonies.
WIth the shrill cold wind blowing through leaveless trees.
#winter
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SELF POEM
Published
12th Mar 2025 11:20pm
12th Mar 2025 11:20pm
Mandatory Poetry
Everything is left.
Empty.
This frustration.
Doesn't end.
It haunts me.
A peculiar poltergeist.
As all my ambition.
Coalesces into feeble.
Poetry.
My metaphoric mantra.
To keep.
An impulse to write.
Empty.
This frustration.
Doesn't end.
It haunts me.
A peculiar poltergeist.
As all my ambition.
Coalesces into feeble.
Poetry.
My metaphoric mantra.
To keep.
An impulse to write.
#emptiness
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OBSERVATIONAL POEM
Published
12th Mar 2025 7:54am
12th Mar 2025 7:54am
Fair Weather Friends.
Who were you that whisked yourself.
Away from my poor circumstances.
So you didn't have to watch me.
Fall apart.
At least.
I guess. T
That's what.
You told yourself.
And,
me.
I don't mind.
Everyone is temporary.
A single serving something or other.
That I talked to a while.
But,
Got too involved in the fantasy.
Of what I could be.
I have nothing.
To prove to you.
Nothing to teach.
So waft away like a breeze.
Floatsam hovering in a cyclone. ...
Away from my poor circumstances.
So you didn't have to watch me.
Fall apart.
At least.
I guess. T
That's what.
You told yourself.
And,
me.
I don't mind.
Everyone is temporary.
A single serving something or other.
That I talked to a while.
But,
Got too involved in the fantasy.
Of what I could be.
I have nothing.
To prove to you.
Nothing to teach.
So waft away like a breeze.
Floatsam hovering in a cyclone. ...
#friendship
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SELF POEM
Published
12th Mar 2025 7:48am
12th Mar 2025 7:48am
I'm Broken.
I'm always on the verge of another.
Breakdown.
Feeling my soul extricate itself.
From the premises.
Absent mindedly.
I stare into the darkness.
The permutations of my hallucinations.
Swirl in the darkness.
Lights in the dark.
Or is it
the blood coursing through my eyes.
Fluctuating in spasmodic undulations.
Something moving in a shadow.
A face my brain places into the dark.
Patterns associated with mind states.
Anger, depression, empitness.
It's all just such.
A trick of the mind. ...
Breakdown.
Feeling my soul extricate itself.
From the premises.
Absent mindedly.
I stare into the darkness.
The permutations of my hallucinations.
Swirl in the darkness.
Lights in the dark.
Or is it
the blood coursing through my eyes.
Fluctuating in spasmodic undulations.
Something moving in a shadow.
A face my brain places into the dark.
Patterns associated with mind states.
Anger, depression, empitness.
It's all just such.
A trick of the mind. ...
#dark
#despair
#frustration
91 reads
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SELF POEM
Published
11th Mar 2025 11:30pm
11th Mar 2025 11:30pm
In Group.
I journal all this.
Internet graffiti I spew.
In public.
For your conisderation.
Lest someone call me a coward.
Inauthentic.
Weak.
Pathetic.
But I'm not that.
I'm a pent up pipe bomb.
A shockwave.
I don't ever get better.
I get much much worse.
And these idyll iterations of words.
Imply.
I often write things I don't agree with.
Just.
Cause.
They say I can't.
But, I dunno that word.
Can't.
It's not a command.
It's a weak suggestion that I'm not inclined.
To...
Internet graffiti I spew.
In public.
For your conisderation.
Lest someone call me a coward.
Inauthentic.
Weak.
Pathetic.
But I'm not that.
I'm a pent up pipe bomb.
A shockwave.
I don't ever get better.
I get much much worse.
And these idyll iterations of words.
Imply.
I often write things I don't agree with.
Just.
Cause.
They say I can't.
But, I dunno that word.
Can't.
It's not a command.
It's a weak suggestion that I'm not inclined.
To...
#bittersweet
#hate
79 reads
1 Comment
SELF POEM
Published
11th Mar 2025 11:19pm
11th Mar 2025 11:19pm
Impulsively Writing about the Misery of Myself
I'm amazed at how long.
I've managed to keep myself alive.
Without trying too.
Hard to keep living.
Mr Self Destruct.
Mr. Give Me Anything as Long as I'm baked.
Some life I sought, really.
In fact.
I tried not to live.
I sought death.
It seems like something or someone.
Is preventing me from dying.
And, I feel comforted in the comfortable annihilation.
I only feel in a deep sleep.
Or a concussive forcing me to wake up.
With rage and hate.
As my brain rockets off my skull
All this natural...
I've managed to keep myself alive.
Without trying too.
Hard to keep living.
Mr Self Destruct.
Mr. Give Me Anything as Long as I'm baked.
Some life I sought, really.
In fact.
I tried not to live.
I sought death.
It seems like something or someone.
Is preventing me from dying.
And, I feel comforted in the comfortable annihilation.
I only feel in a deep sleep.
Or a concussive forcing me to wake up.
With rage and hate.
As my brain rockets off my skull
All this natural...
#disappointment
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SELF POEM
Published
9th Mar 2025 7:40pm
9th Mar 2025 7:40pm
Note to self
She sells sea shells.
By the sea shore.
Cause.
I ain't taking her flights of fancy.
As some sacred script.
Change?
If you missed the forest for the trees.
Maybe you'd think that.
But, I'm consistently me.
I just stopped fantasizing about people.
Accepted them for how they were.
And, threw them away.
Like the refuse they are.
Everyone is a temporary light.
In a sea of engulfing darkness.
And I will shine brighter than the sun.
In the middle of night.
By the sea shore.
Cause.
I ain't taking her flights of fancy.
As some sacred script.
Change?
If you missed the forest for the trees.
Maybe you'd think that.
But, I'm consistently me.
I just stopped fantasizing about people.
Accepted them for how they were.
And, threw them away.
Like the refuse they are.
Everyone is a temporary light.
In a sea of engulfing darkness.
And I will shine brighter than the sun.
In the middle of night.
#disappointment
77 reads
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SELF POEM
Published
9th Mar 2025 7:37pm
9th Mar 2025 7:37pm
Horrible
And now.
The depression sets in.
As the SSRI leaves my body.
And in this muck, this helpless mire.
I feel the constant sensation.
Of wanting to die.
Hoplessness.
Dichotomous thinking.
A general feeling of dis-ease.
Guilt and a desire to punish.
Myself.
Sober?
Why?
So I can sleep all day.
Starve myself.
Self crit with self abuse?
Another psychotic break with reality?
It's not like I painted it all black.
It's more despair.
At the incompetence of my life choices.
It's just a...
The depression sets in.
As the SSRI leaves my body.
And in this muck, this helpless mire.
I feel the constant sensation.
Of wanting to die.
Hoplessness.
Dichotomous thinking.
A general feeling of dis-ease.
Guilt and a desire to punish.
Myself.
Sober?
Why?
So I can sleep all day.
Starve myself.
Self crit with self abuse?
Another psychotic break with reality?
It's not like I painted it all black.
It's more despair.
At the incompetence of my life choices.
It's just a...
#despair
#emptiness
#shame
62 reads
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SPIRITUAL POEM
Published
25th Feb 2025 11:00pm
25th Feb 2025 11:00pm
Erlik
Everyday I do austerities to the spirits.
I starve.
I don't drink water.
I bear pain I cause myself.
I don't feed my addictions
Self destructive spirituality.
I'm stuck in a mystical head space.
One foot here.
Another out there.
Where the Gods dance.
And I, an outsider there.
As I am here.
Hang out in burial grounds.
Starving like the mangy animal I am.
Embrace the change of death.
The shedding of skin of spring.
I am the wisdom of the trickster.
Always leave them guessing.
Never be the same....
I starve.
I don't drink water.
I bear pain I cause myself.
I don't feed my addictions
Self destructive spirituality.
I'm stuck in a mystical head space.
One foot here.
Another out there.
Where the Gods dance.
And I, an outsider there.
As I am here.
Hang out in burial grounds.
Starving like the mangy animal I am.
Embrace the change of death.
The shedding of skin of spring.
I am the wisdom of the trickster.
Always leave them guessing.
Never be the same....
#fate
#pagan
#sacrifice
119 reads
1 Comment
DARK POEM
Published
25th Feb 2025 10:53pm
25th Feb 2025 10:53pm
The Rattlesnake Parable
He called me high tension.
As though the random violent outbursts.
Off my meds.
Weren't normal for me.
They say, get off em, you don't need them.
You're not crazy.
Then when I do the depression takes over.
And the delusions.
And the paranoia.
And the rage.
I impulsively lash out at everyone.
A danger to myself and other people.
A sheafed knife.
Tight water surface.
Chaotic and impulsive.
Reading the worst into what you're saying.
Any excuse for my euphoria.
When the hate takes over.
...
As though the random violent outbursts.
Off my meds.
Weren't normal for me.
They say, get off em, you don't need them.
You're not crazy.
Then when I do the depression takes over.
And the delusions.
And the paranoia.
And the rage.
I impulsively lash out at everyone.
A danger to myself and other people.
A sheafed knife.
Tight water surface.
Chaotic and impulsive.
Reading the worst into what you're saying.
Any excuse for my euphoria.
When the hate takes over.
...
#anger
#despair
#frustration
68 reads
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DARK POEM
Published
23rd Feb 2025 9:33pm
23rd Feb 2025 9:33pm
Exegesis.
#curse
#dark
#emptiness
57 reads
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DU Poetry : Submissions by Nil (Nolan)
