Submissions by Luke_L

The waitress

I was a late night at one of those truck stop restaurants
I was sipping my coffee
The waitress was the only one around other than the cook
Man I'd been on that road for so long

She came over and refilled my cup
As she turned to walk away I smacked her with my meaty paw
Right on her round behind
She moaned and then looked at me as if to scold me
But the words wouldn't come out

I stood up and she stood there frozen
I grabbed her and threw her down on her stomach
On the table
Then I pulled up her black skirt and gave...

She was an orphan
I was the priest of the Salt Spring Island Baptist Church
She came to me one day looking for a place to stay
I let her sleep in the confessional
No one was using it at night anyways

I slept in that church in the basement myself

One night I woke up hearing some screams and squeals coming from upstairs
I grabbed a flashlight and wandered up the stairs
As I got closer to the sound
I realized it was a woman pleasuring herself
I zeroed in on the noise
It was coming from the confessional

Uh uh uhhhhhh

It was...