Starring Role

[font=Verdana][color=Teal]Write a poem about a relation ship or friendship, that caused you to feel empty and was unhealthy and hindered you in the worst way. That relationship made you feel like if you got out of it, you can be the best person you can be. It can be real or fiction, your choice.

Collabs are accepted
no old poems
anything goes, except porn.

Clearer
***********
Story from my not so distant past(:


I think I need to be free
of you.
Of the hurt you inflict
when you hit me.

I am a strong girl, I always have been,
but I can't keep going to class
with these bruises.

You ride me hard, then put me away wet,
figuratively.
You don't care.  You don't even seem to see it,
the dimming of the fire
lit in my eyes.

I try not to cry
in front of you,
because I know you hate it.
Loathe any weakness,
meekness is your preference.

I'm a little afraid,
scared of you.
Scared you'll hurt me like that one time,
lose control
again.

You had me in that hold,
the one I couldn't breathe in,
your knee in my back,
your words an even more vicious attack.

I am trying to be the girl you want,
but I am so young.
Why can't you teach me?
I could be her, I promise,
give me a clue into what it is
I am doing wrong.

I long
for you to look at me with eyes of approval,
with the removal of scorn and condescension.

But if I can't be her, if I can't help you heal,
help you feel happy,
maybe I should go.

Maybe I need time alone to fix myself,
to find myself.
Maybe being with you isn't smart
for my heart anymore.

I think I'd see clearer through unbruised eyes,
I think I'd think clearer without ringing ears.
I think I'd love clearer without an aching heart.

My emotions have been shoved into a corner
Gasping for air
Help! Baby why are you doing this? We can talk this out?!
You seize the moment, and violate my thoart, not forgetting to put all your stress down my thoart
Since I did cause you to behave like this
When you remove, I'm voiceless
Left to brunch myself in the corner
Repeating to myself
"This is all your fault, but he loves me. He didn't mean to just a long day?"

Walking to "our room" the disfigure wall sheds all the memories we had together
"You stupid bitch, you are nothing without me!!!! I made you who you are"
Sometimes I wish I could. crawl into that hole, and leave
But I know I can't live without him.......well if he doesn't kill me
Looking at myself, the abuse keeps on pilling onto my skin
What will my co-workers think when I come with a sweater on in the middle of July
Well it doesn't matter can't tell them

I would only feel a tigght grip on my neck
Tears began to burn my eyes until it stings down my cheek
You know enough is enough
I'm tired of laying down letting him run through me
Taking my voice
slowly stealing my sanity

The last I checked love was kind, and did not boast to feed his damn ego over to shove it any place he likes with my permission
But that all going to change
I take his manhood , and store alil as a prize
But now of days my wall shows me love is waiting right around the corner

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51ww8QutGUL.jpg

GOODBYE MARY - THE CRAZYMAKER

Friends do not last a lifetime
I have found out too late
Friends that stand beside you
Even those, can only stay so long
Mary you were kind to me
Helped through so many hurts
Then when things got good for you
Said we had nothing in common
That statement was full of sh_t
For your misery loved my company
Until your misery turned to wealth
International status and your business
Then, I did not see it coming
For you had dropped everybody else
Called everyone you wanted gone
“Crazy” thus rendering them
Into nothingness, a lie you made
To justify your ability to use and discard
Those “friends” who no longer have
The status you craved for so long

I noticed that we were first friendly
When you thought I had it all
When I lost it all you were there
I gained it all back plus
So we were still confessing
You knew too much about me
In turn I know where your skeletons
Are buried and your real nature
Now that you are dazzling

Goodbye Mary in this lifetime
You were a good friend
For a while
I can see you more clearly
With time behind my back
You are a user, like most of us
You lie because failure is catching
You have dropped your friends
Like they were hot coals
Who would tarnish
Your carefully manicured reputation
Harvard, Yale, are where you hang out
A publishing machine that will not quit
You have the talent, go after it
Be careful though, about calling people crazy
Behind their backs
For karma has a way
Of kicking back.


http://vyrso.com/product/17977/dealing-with-the-crazymakers-in-your-life-setting-boundaries-on-unhealthy-relationships.jpg

Screaming words of accusation
Over the phone
In the early hours
Of the morning:
“You’re a cheat
You’re a liar,
You loved someone else-
This hell is all your fault!”
All comes tumbling out of our mouths
Across the open air,
And through the cell,  
Hitting each other
With anger fueled slaps  
Brought on by
Months of anger and disappointment.
Final words scream out
Before a finger ends it all
“Go to hell”
And then it is over,
A year of togetherness
While separated by a country,
Over with a few words
And a slip of a finger
Over a keypad.

Thoughts of you come back
When I least expect it,
Especially when an
East coast twang
Cuts across a room.
Over a year
Of phone calls and skype dates
Even when it meant
Jealousy over time spent with friend
Anger at fun had
Without the other,
Putting life on hold
For that a three minute call,
Friends and time lost
For a moment not even
Enjoyed.
A whole year of university
Parties with friends,
Homework group studies,
Even work ethic and grades
All fractured, broken, hurt
By the time we forced ourselves
To spend.

I think about
The accusations thrown
And the pits of anger
That we both felt,
A relationship that fell apart
Because we just couldn’t handle
The reality of each other.
You were my biggest
Disappointment,
And though I wish
The last words we spoke
Were not in anger
I am glad that they
Were the final ones,
As they set me free
From the toxic hold
We had on each other.

Ghost Pressure
Ghost pressure lightly around my neck
It only feels real once it has gone
Invisible fingers lightly rest
It only feels right when I know it is wrong

Ghost pressure where I had once wore
My good ideas light and strong
Like a shining suit of tinfoil armor
It only felt real when I knew it was wrong

Ghost pressure upon my weary face
I remember with my tingling skin
Exactly where her light hand was placed
The dark chink in my armor of tin

Ghost pressure inside my overused bones
A feeling released remains forever in
The cycle of memories in jaded tones
Make every blessing transform to sin