Dear John

Write a letter to someone.
It's like writing one and not sending it.
Express any and ALL FEELINGS.

Dear boy. 

They always feel like real memories.

You made me feel like Alice, forever trapped in wonderland. I saw the 'drink me' label and swallowed you whole. Deep within. I turned the timer, watching the grains of sand mould around you and me. You become the only tiny ship floating in my private sea. 

You were with me from the beginning. The fights. The blood. The nights we'd stay up and talk until the sun came up. Whiskey in hand. The truth serum where we learnt of our fates in hand. 

It was that day. That day you said you wanted me. The day I caved, and you became more than my brother in arms, and I wanted you as my lover, as my eyes ignited with the slave that lay within. You were my original sin. A fatal bond we shared in secret kin. 

I've never wanted anybody more. I wanted those carpet burns on your bedroom floor. I wanted you to hold me and never let me go. I wanted you to breathe into my lungs with that mouth I know so well, i wanted us to get lost in the swell of each others desire.

And as God is my witness, I prayed for fire. I prayed to be purged of the new born feelings within. I prayed that every time you touched my face we would eradicate the plate glass barrier that drove us apart through no fault of our own. I prayed you would be mine, and mine alone and you would be proud to have this girl, this hidden love now shown. 

But I wish sometimes, that you would fight for me. I wish you would dream of exactly what we could be. Our endless possibilities, a chance at a momentous eternity. I wish you would hold on to the dreams of our bare brick place. Our unfurnished lives with simple tastes. The race has been won, there's no need for the chase. My hand in your back pocket, and your arm around my waist.

I love the fact that we're friends. Best friends. Friends so intimate we laugh at each others darkness from beneath the cloak of civilised behaviour. I love that you know you're my saviour. My alpha. My omega. 

But I also know your weakness.

There are still traces of letters on your lips from when your words told me you loved me. That you were addicted to our secret world. You were addicted to me, I was your bittersweet drug and you needed another fix to see you through the heavy weeks that stacked up like fallen dominos laid to rest. 

I'll always be with you. My head on your beating chest. Your fingers in my hair. The afterglow saturating the air. And just know, that you never again have to ask me to explain my love for you. 

I just do.
And I know you feel the same way too.

M x

I'm sorry, Dad.
I know, I wasn't the son you always wished for. I was not as strong as you, I didn' really like the things you liked. But you were always there for me.
We didn't spend as much time as we should have. I always thought, "Tomorrow will be fine too. He'll be there". I was wrong. I should have known, you wouldn't be there forever. The time would come, when I was left alone. But that day seemed so far away, so far in the future. It would never happen. It happened. Too soon.

We never played those games one should play with his father. You were working the whole day. When I woke up, you would've gone to work. When I came home from school, you still wouldn't be at home.
But when I went to bed, you would come to me and say goodnight. You would ask me how my day was, what I did do, how I felt. I could tell you everything, no matter what. But I didn't do it. I simply couldn't bother you with my childish worries. You had so much to carry on your shoulders.
You carried too much. Till that one day, when all these weights that tied you down vanished and you could leave this place.

I miss the times we spent together. You didn't have that big of a place in my life but I've always wanted to let you know, that you have a place in my heart, a place for all the memories we made and a place for the memories we could have made. A place for that one person who would always accept me the way I am.
Thank you Dad.

Dear John doe,
               There are times in life; when I felt that I wouldn’t ever find a simple happiness to move on. As I progressed through life I didn’t find this happiness until you entered my heart and made a place in my mind just for you and gradually embedded yourself in my heart. Then you made life worth going forward. I find my body yearns for your touch and your voice brings me to a nervous breakdown. Why I ask myself sometimes? Because this feeling penetrates my soul and fits into daily thoughts; it overwhelms my body to feel so lifted with happiness. I feel so much joy with our companionship because it has made me fall head over heels in love with you and I can’t help myself. The thoughts I’ve had lately; drifts me further away from negativity and hurt and tears of pain and abandonment because you give me the attention that I need to strive. I love that you spend extra time finding out what makes me happy and you want to know what makes me climax. My endurance for what you bring into our relationship tingle’s my soul and taunt’s me every moment while I’m awake and while I’m dreaming. Pinching me now is pointless because I know it’s real; the love we share can’t compare to any person, place, or thing. I get, so emotional when I think about how you make me feel on a regular basis because you’re not pretending and you’re so content with me. I love how you love me with all your heart because it is visible. I ask god for a lot of things and certain situations to change, but without me asking for Mekos you came into my life and the impact you have enforced on my life has me in desperation to keep you near and to never let go of you for as long as I live on this earth. I’m too anxious to see when we are apart because; I don’t want to leave your side when we are together face to face. The excitement you bring to our existence is hard to handle because it should be written that love can last forever. The never ending feelings you devote to our love will not perish because it is everlasting. Damn Mekos this life were living in is so hard and you made it just that easy for me to accept the things I can’t change, but be grateful for waking up to share another blessed day in your arms and being weakened by your kisses, you bring chills to my spine. The blissful combustion we produce as our bodies combine has took on a role of nerve wrecking pleasure. The way you whisper it seems while you’re torturing me pulls every ounce of self control for the depths of my core.

Sincerely,
Mahogany Green

Dear Father,

I don’t want to call you Dad anymore; but, even the thought of your name irritates me.

You were never the father figure we needed, but once-upon-a-time, I was very much a Daddy’s girl.

You were fine for us when we were little; we had a decent childhood, but is that only because you were out of the country for work half of every month? You had a family with your first marriage, were we just to satisfy Mum? But we were always scared of your dominance and strictness; we always had to please you.

But when you retired; that’s when things got worse, things that were only your fault, no-one else’s, yours.

You were always a heavy drinker, but that didn’t matter when you were working. Then with no job you had a reason to drink constantly. That shop you stupidly opened, you didn’t stop then. You drove home that night, so drunk. I’m so ashamed. You’re lucky that poor man didn’t die, and you got out of your car unscathed and walked away. All you got was a fine and your licence took off you. Are you not ashamed as well?

No-one thought less of you.

I did.

The divorce you made difficult, you had such a plan. You are so manipulative, it scares me that I have part of your mind. Mum gave up everything just to get it over with; you made her look like a bad Mother, a lazy wife, an undeserving person, and a fool. She sat in a court room, not knowledgeable in that sort of thing, confused, while you could afford the best solicitors. You played the game beautifully, and admitted it to her face when the courtroom doors were shut.

We had to be put on the homeless list, living with Mums boyfriend, you knew her family rejected her, you used that, got her Mother on your side. And all those people you told lies about me to, you sat in the pub and bitched about me. Did I ever really beat you up? You wouldn’t even know. Did I ever really trash your house? You wouldn’t even know. Were you really actually scared of me, wanting to phone the police? You wouldn’t even know, you were always too drunk, from the minute you woke up to the second you passed out, you drunk.

No-one thought less of you.

I did.

You laughed at me, you looked down on me, you tried to intimidate me. But the worst part was, that young boy, you did it all to him too, used his friends against him, Mum’s family against us both. You would phone up Mum’s Mum and cry to her, ‘What can I do?’ you’d ask, ‘I can’t take her anymore’. Nor could I take it. Your young son would come crying in the night to me, sleep with me because he was scared of you, that isn’t right.

But we asked you to stop drinking or we would leave, you didn’t. We told you we were leaving for good, last chance, you didn’t. You fell and hurt yourself, you did then.

We are better off without you now. You didn’t want to be at my wedding, well I didn’t want you there, I paid for it myself, not you, you didn’t walk me down the aisle, the brother I looked after did.

No-one ever thought less of you.

I did.

Your daughter, no longer
Hannah

Dear Austin,

I hate it. I try so hard to talk to you.
To be convinced that you don't hate me.
If you only knew what you put me through.

You don't see why it matters. You don't have a clue.
Left me alone for months now,
still I think it's the night we can't undo.

When we shared a special moment, underneath my moon.
Still, of course... it could be your smile.
Nobody would guess the things I would do....

Just to see that grin, and to see it for me, too.
If you haven't caught on by now, and I'll deny it...
sometimes I still miss you.

- A notch in your bedpost

Dear Kristyn,

Things are dark here
Without your laugh.
Just that smile
I never got past.

No matter how bad it hurts
I cant seem to hate you.
I always love you girl
No matter what you do.

I feel so much different now
Now that your gone.
It just seems like your
That war I never won.

I thought you'd keep me
Through this.
Ill never forget
That last kiss.

Dear ex-Husband,

(an ode to us)
    He latches onto my nipple.
    The way newborn sons latch onto nipples-only distant.  And the scenario takes me back to a place of pubescent butterflies and crimson donuts sprinkled in Christmas glitter gold.  
    I sigh, and run my fingers through his hair-short, refined, tousled.  The gold of the calico blond strands shimmer beneath the sunlight probing into our little secret affair.
    From amidst his suckling, he glances up at me, my reflection stares back.  I look down at my white dress.  The eyelets on my dress are like the windows of my soul, missing threads.
    I sweep an anxious eye across the nightstand.  Divorce papers unsigned, yet lay perfectly folded beside a pen tempting me to sign the mistake you’ve made.  
    My mind drifts back to that hot August afternoon.  A sticky note posted to you from me on our front door:  Dear Husband, Your girlfriend called.  I forgot to buy Kleenex at the store.  You moved out, and he was to move in, your best friend who didn’t know you had moved out prior to him knocking on what used to be “our” front door, on a late September morning.  
    He now leaves me a sticky note on my front door:  X O, X O, empty boxes.
    I am guilty to say we now share in this room, no longer sacred or abide by or united in our matrimony.  Not even my nipple knows no boundaries as my tears slip through the sand of decaying bones; your mother’s ring.  It no longer resides on my left hand.  
    My nipple grows raw, not with sensation, but with sentiment.
    Because the open range echoes the sound of death’s love aging gracefully near.  I thank you for the memories of when my heart was broken next to my good China.

Forever your ex,
Wife

My Dearest Angel,

The bond between us is like no other mother and daughter and friends forever
Nothing you could do would lessen my love my children to me are a gift from above
The time you sit is a consequence for your actions and phone calls and letters your only satisfaction
Regardless of the bad choices you make I will be there for you however long it takes
Though some decisions you have made I would never condone I don't condemn you either my daughter...  
You will never be alone

Love Always,
Mom

P.S.  
I cant wait for you to come home

Dear brother,
  Its been a while, huh? Haven't talked in what seems like forever. So, what's it like? You know, knowing whether there's a God or not? You were always the most religious one. I just wish you could tell me, since youre in heaven and all.
 
   It's been rough these past few years without you. I hardly know who I am, what I believe less. Those days were so simple, when we would play in the front yard and not give a care about the world. I miss wandering the woods and playing soccer. The simple days of memory.

  Things got worse after you left. Mom grew sadder, but then got sterner and less caring. Dad got more and more into his work, which I doubted was possible. I have found someone who cares for me, but I don't know how to express what I feel. Ironic huh? A poet who can't express himself. Anyway, I'll try to keep in touch.

  With regards,
        D.P.

P.S. Why did you have to go? Why wasn't it me?

Dear T

It was february 09
the last of us , our final time
I shouted down the stairs
'can you turn the heating on '
but I was unawares , that you had gone .

After 8 years
and three kids , plus three of your own ,
away you slid , leaving me and them , alone ,
the council then kicked us out of our home ,
we ended up in a smaller place , down the road .

Your three went to their dads
as I and mine , we made the best with what we had .

We became a team , me and my three ,
doing good at school , as you got married ,
you moved to manchester , visiting every 6 weeks
then you took my girl away , to the courts I now plead .

So thanks for nothing I hope it was worth it ,
you gone a good thing
of which we deserve it .  .

Good riddens    SPS .

WITHDRAWN, THANK'S
PEACE

Dear Travis
You were my best friend.
Oh the hours we'd spend talking about our dreams. You were the only one who understood. You could look into my eyes and read my mind. But I was so foolish. I grew angry at you when it was really me. I remember those cruel words that I hissed at you. The way your eyes dulled. The way your smile faded and the misery as you said goodbye. I laughed at your pain and for that I am truly sorry. You left that cold winters night and met death with hardly a fright. Was it my fault? I believe it so. If only I didn't let you go. Now you're gone and I'm never alone for your soul haunts me wherever I go.


        Yours Truly

Dear Ex Girlfriend,

   I used to have the biggest crush on you. Just like glue I was stuck on you. I thought it was inevitable and we'd be inseperable with a bond so incredible. Instead you did something unacceptable at the time it was unforgivable. It still haunts me the act was unforgetable. But still I moved on. Time to be strong.
   Time has passed and I have forgiven you. Maybe it was me, maybe I've driven you. Maybe you foresaw what I couldn't see. The confusion and the struggle with my identity.
   Maybe I've been blaming you for something that wasn't your fault. You picked up on the combination and unlocked the vault. The curiosity I've subsided I thought I could hide it. You've questioned me on it but I got scared then denied it.
   You asked me if I had feelings for somebody else and at the time I didn't feel like explaining myself. I told you that you were bugging over nothing. I've assured you time again that you're the only one I'm loving. At the time I was unaware what even bought up the discussion. I thought it was the vodka that you were drinking like a mad Russian
   Then one week later you've acted on your instincts and cheated. After I've told you you're my one and only I couldn't believe it. Didn't want to believe it say it wasn't so. But you couldn't so I was left with nowhere to go.
   I've tried to look past your slip up but for some reason I couldn't. My heart just wouldn't. So I took a walk with hurt in my eyes. Then this dude approached me boldly and asked me was I into guys. I simply replied no and he asked me what's wrong. I explained my situation and told him the love I had for you was gone.
   I was vulnerable he was available and offered a shoulder to lean on. He gave me his number and later that night we talked for 3 hours long. Suddenly I've forgotten all about you. But when he hung up I couldn't imagine life without you.
   That seemed kind of strange so I needed to be alone. To sort things out I turned off my phone. I still loved you despite everything, but I was falling for this guy. I just couldn't understand why. Part of me felt like with you I was living a lie.
   So I broke up with you and considered being bi. I needed to experiment so I've called back the guy. We had mind blowing sex it was out of this world. He erased all the feelings I ever had for girls.
   So I just wanted to say thank you for cheating on me. Because if it wasn't for your infedelity who knows where I'll be.

                      Sincerely,

                       Ex Boyfriend      

mikimoondancer said:WITHDRAWN, THANK'S
PEACE
Why did you withdraw? I really liked your poem.