Dear, 20 yr old me

Life doesn't come easy....
every day can bring joy, but when sadness rains upon the day things get hard.
Finding tears are flowing free...no answers to be found.

Let me tell you........this song is for you... an anthem for your soul.... something for your wounded heart to hold.
A melody from above. Filled with God's love and peace to know!
Healing for the taking. Open arms are waiting.... love is here...this song is for you.

Take hold and take this hand.
Fall into his arms when life gets you down...feeling broken hearted.
All is not lost...I'm here...open and ready to love you.
I want to tell you!

Let me tell you........this song is for you... an anthem for your soul.... something for your wounded heart to hold.
A melody from above. Filled with God's love and peace to know!
Healing for the taking. Open arms are waiting.... love is here...this song is for you!
This song is for you.

 
remembering how I asked

what was it like being in a ring
with people screaming at you?

he explained you cannot see
anybody past two rows as
lights shine down on you,

once you understand this
nothing else really matters.

Persistence will get you
whatever you desire
Persistence is your best friend
never underestimate the  
power of Soul within
The desire has to come from
you
whatever you decide you want
or wanna do
just remember these lyrics
as you pursue
All you want out of life
you can get it
just make sure to yourself
you wont regret it
Lyrics from BT Express
Song  Once You Get It

This will pass
Like glass, this mood can be broken
And as a token
The past will be left unspoken

The sun still shines
Even through the darkest sadness
It’s like madness there
Where you care too deeply
But just know though
That while the depression feels as if it is forever
It rarely ever imprisons you completely
Even if your heart skips a beat there
And your mind and body compete there
The haze will lift
And you’ll drift into glee
Where your spirit feels free

It's no use me saying " don't age " cos you do  
and you'll never know how vast is this gap,  
between me and well,' this me, who, once was you,  
I'm sorry hon age is just a freaking trap!  
 
Just ditch the fun cos there's no wisdom gained  
it's just regrets piled on top of regrets,  
how can I help you, when that me aimlessly aimed  
us, ourselves, down life and just gained life's debts.  
 
And now those debts, with interest, are due  
and I'd be lying if I said, they don't hurt,  
but it's a mental hurt so, nothing new,  
perhaps they are our, mine, yours, just deserts?  
 
If you could hear me you wouldn't even fear  
But, sorry hon, you'd be instantly here.

Dear Young Tim,

    You're worrying for nothing. There are so many things you can't control, so worrying about them won't change a thing.
    Whether you are happy or not is a choice. When you wake up, wake up happy. Make the world convince you that it's a bad day.
    Be bolder. If you want to sing, then sing. You get better by practicing. Take lessons when you are young. Learn to play a guitar. Learn to play the piano. Learn to handle money. No matter what you do, money will be important.
    Life is short. Do things. Try things. See things.
    People come and go in your life. Don't be sad when they leave. Enjoy them while they are there.
    Don't be blinded by pretty people. Looks fade. Long term beauty is in the soul.

Good luck always,
Old Tim

your shadow will be a glimpse,  
fleet behind an old man's beard,  
but he'll see you there  
and want for the very things  
that shackle you  
that he might  
shake them loose  
while there's still time  
to live a little

Life is like that proverb  
about two wolves  
one full of light  
one full of darkness  
 
Stop feeding your fucking demons
like they're not capable of  
eating you alive  
because you know they will  
while you pretend you like it  
because dancing with the devil you know  
is easier than reaching out  
to the angel you don't  
 
There's a reason sayings like  
"take the road less travelled"  
exist
no adventure is going to begin  
in your comfort zone  
 
Nothing good comes easy  
and you can hate me for my cliches  
but I love a good cliche  
especially when it comes with a story  
 
What will yours be?
One full of light and adventure?
Or one full of fighting demons in the dark?

So in 37 years
you're gonna look back at this moment
with your morbid sense of humor
and wonder....

if you made the right choice
by pulling the hose
out of the tailpipe, today
because you forgot to fill the gas tank.

You're going to supervise
three chemistry laboratories
and have to get seven new analyzers
up and running
in a year's time
(while keeping all the old ones going, of course
and not to mention
all the "what the f--k" stuff that comes with management)

And that thought will creep in
and the sarcastic smile will cross your lips.
But you really won't go there again.
(though a tiny whiff of carbon monoxide
might be nice
just to be able to catch a quick catnap
between dumpster fires at work)

You will have survived in the workplace, the following:
The Great White Harpy
(who gets pissed that she can't rattle you
because of the enigma, you are)

The Jealous Queen Bee Bitch
(who will always be the fat girl
in her own mind, no matter
how much weight she loses)

The Drunk, Groping Pig
(who corners you with his bloodshot eyes
before he corners you, for real in the supply closet)

and all The Others
who couldn't cut it
and hated you for their own shortcomings.

It's all good.
You'll survive many other things too.
It all shall pass.
And you'll give a set of balls
to all who will follow after you're gone.

 
You don’t want this hurt
The wounds, they will run deep
And though they’ll heal you’ll still feel a burn
Knowing you’ve earned every one of them
For every serious loss, for every little feat

When I look at these scars
I remember all the spars
But you, you’ll question your faith and all that you believe
And yet time, for the time being, is on your side
Listen to your gut feeling
Before you leap looking for that reprieve

But I know that won’t be the case
At the moment, your heart is full of passion and lust
Lost in a list of names and flames that won’t last
Lest you forget
The ones that seemed so sweet
Will turn out to the most perilous

Yes I know you won’t listen to this advice
You want what’s exciting, what’s thrilling, what’s new
And when you’ve had your fill
You’ll try to go back to that safe haven
In the lion’s den…if you only knew

That’s OK
One way or another you’re going to have to learn
It’s the lesson you need in life
It will take you on a journey
Through on a razor’s edge
Though you won’t bite the bullet
You’ll prefer the knife

Please listen to your intuition
The familiar feeling you’ve often cast
I am your voice in a time machine of the future
And you are the memory of my youth
The ghost of my past

To the girl I once was,
This letter is meant for you.

There are things I wish I’d known back then,
but this isn’t to shame or scold you.

The past may seem distant, but it’s closer than it feels,
We did our best with what we had, and what we knew.
The only difference between us now?
Time—I’ve had more of it to see things through.

Life isn’t as straightforward as we once believed.
Remember how we thought a few well-placed prayers would guarantee us everything we dreamed of?

Remember the rules we made, the lines we drew,
for ourselves and others too
We thought we understood it all,
but now I see how much we missed.
I’m sorry for the words I said, the things I thought I deserved—
Safety, security, a place to call home.

I claimed them as my right, without seeing
how others struggled just to survive.
I used to think handouts only hurt,
that systems could be fixed with words alone.

To the girl I once was,
You’re going to take the scenic route through life.
And there’s nothing you could ever do or say
to separate you from the love of the One who made you exactly as you were meant to be.

You’ll find Him in places you never expected,
In faces and hearts you once overlooked.
So go—reach out to the mothers who grieve,
To those who hunger, both in body and soul.
Stand with the oppressed, cry out for justice,
And walk alongside those who’ve suffered long.
Sit at every table, share a meal with those you once avoided,
And dance to the rhythm of life, even when the song is unfamiliar.
Cry with the women who’ve lost,
and honor those who still fight for freedom’s cause.

You didn’t learn this overnight,
So keep asking questions.