A love that wrecked you

I dream of the white dress with you
Although I’ve had it once before
It didn’t mean that much back then
Now it means to me much more

I know that life gets messy
And sometimes we get it wrong
Do you think back, how we lost track
I play our favorite song

The one that I imagined
Walking down the aisle to meet you
The one about November rain
It played during our meet cute

I remember when I heard it first
I remember how you smelled
I remember bumping into you
I remember when I fell

The wedding you won’t give me
You’re giving someone else
Proving I’m not good enough
Leaving me all by myself

What is that that I'm feeling right now
Is it pain of my ego being hurt?
My mind wants you out of it but how
Which words did you fake and which were meant?
 
My inside is as blackish as my night
My motives were brutally disarmed
And I dwell in a violent lovebite
from my love and my hope for ever banned
 
How can I allow this in my life?
Being tortured from myself and call it fate
Where is my eternal spark of light
Is there anything in this plane that isn't fake?
 
I will die and my rebirth is this arrow
I will keep it on my skin like a souvenir  
it has poisoned my blood within a narrow
that goes straight from the heart to the atmosphere
While polluting the fucking air with nuclear waste
of emotions and charged feelings drained to death
All I see is a button saying 'erase'
as I struggle to restrain my fucking breathe
 
 
 
3,14
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A rear table for two at the Cafe Deli by the corner of Moi Avenue  
Where street lights eavesdrop on lovers as they sip the night away,  
I took a deep breath desperate to contain the outpouring of my dancing heart.  
“Finally. After weeks of, I have him all to myself!”  
   
Bubbling like a child eager to unwrap their first candy  
I said to him, "Let me see those gifted hands!"  
And as I ran my fingers across the contours  
Taking in that polished leathery feel…  
 “Alas!” Exclaimed my spirit, “I have touched the hands of God!"  
   
That fine May night has birthed many fateful days;  
June surreptitiously took off with promises made therein haste;    
Sacred whispers so carelessly spoken…  
And the summery smiles on that selfie shared with friends has since turned as cold as July!  
   
He was fairly new to me that first meet  
And the passage of time like rain on dry lands has yield fresh grove.    
Yet even now,perfectly estranged  
Like an indwelling;  
His form, his essence! Remains.  
   

                        ~My Divine Masterpiece.  
 
Happy birthday Surge! Happy Happy birthday gifted hands!!!

What is that that I'm feeling right now
Is it pain of my ego being hurt?
My mind wants you out of it but how
Which words did you fake and which were meant?
 
My inside is as blackish as my night
My motives were brutally disarmed
And I dwell in a violent lovebite
from my love and my hope for ever banned
 
How can I allow this in my life?
Being tortured from myself and call it fate
Where is my eternal spark of light
Is there anything in this plane that isn't fake?
 
I will die and my rebirth is this arrow
I will keep it on my skin like a souvenir  
it has poisoned my blood within a narrow
that goes straight from the heart to the atmosphere
While polluting the fucking air with nuclear waste
of emotions and charged feelings drained to death
All I see is a button saying 'erase'
as I struggle to restrain my fucking breathe
 
 
 
3,14
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

My mouth never seemed big enough  
I only ever bit my lip,  
Head always under water  
as you both evaded my bite,  
kept me chasing a taste.  

Just sweet enough to hold us
engaged, always trying despite  
sour smiles and smooth skin, somehow  
that made it all the more emotional,  
its hard to know which apples to avoid,  
harder still to find the good ones.  
 
Each time I gave it up,  
your shinny red would surface  
and offer me another mouthful  
of this poison. I would sleep deeper
each time, waiting for a taste  
of true loves kiss,  
but you saved that for each other  
and so the game goes on.