Poetry competition CLOSED 10th January 2021 9:37pm
WINNER
Strangeways_Rob
Strangeways_Rob
RUNNERS-UP:
crimsin
and Stoney223
Landscaped Engines
First of all thank you for all the wonderful entries. The quality of writing and the creative interpretation of the competition exceeded all my expectations. And thank you to most of you for posting images with your poem.
I was not expecting so many entries so I will try and make the critiques short. Again, these are my own feelings and interpretations of the poem and how they moved me personally and not set in stone or anything and if I interpreted them not in the way intended, then apologies beforehand.
Grateful by crimson
The love of your area seeps through this write. I am not surprised that you have such a deeply personal connection to the underlying elements within the landscape that are either dark or protective. I love that so much – you portrayed and relayed your inner ‘struggle’ and how the outer life can heal or provoke and that you ended the poem in accepting the dynamism within that ‘conflict’…that this is what makes you special and is a vital part of you. Beautiful.
Living letters by Calamityofgin
The landscape for you seems sensually closer - clawing almost room-like in claustrophobia with a throw, a pillow, hands of others ‘reaching’ or hanging, clinging….each detail embedded with their own history or motivation…again in some way like Crimsin, , there lays in the poet the importance of the ability to accept, ‘absorb’ and repair… Knowing you a little, I know of your strength and creative intelligence to be able to live this with loving attention. This poem spoke of wisdom beautifully,
sometimes you get mistaken for yourself by Strangeways_Rob
As visceral as anticipating a real ghost. You know that this is my kind of writing…raw yet steeped in some fog of yearning for some real thing - anything. The Fatima prayer….always that longing for god to be real - to show herself…but it is all we can do to just feel it. The salt in the air…no proof, no evidence…only our arm-hairs hackling at some presence. And if that is the only sign we have, then we are not real either…only another presence merging within presences. Stunningly emotional for me.
Stellar Conjunction and Heritage outlook by slipalong
a. I love that you chose the stars/the sky as your landscape…your arrière scène to your inner thoughts particularly in light of the recent conjunction…”The planetarium behind our doubts” is very powerful…particularly following it with “a map written on the empty hand.” Again there is yearning again….for something, some meaning in what appears random, chaotic from so far away – “beyond our reach” – beyond our touch. You end profoundly hopeful in the end… ‘a birth sign’..I felt that the most….it is unquestionably universal, and becoming a theme….that for renewal…
b. So as a direct contrast this turns inward …I am presuming that as an engineer you worked the mines. This felt deeply personal…a self-portrait almost, the image itself slightly out of focus. But the poem talks of returning what one had taken from the earth, the mother reclaiming what she had once offered… content..not with the surface romantic beauty of a thing, but the excavation of something much more important and honorable. Loved this slipalong..I am at that age now where this resonates quite a lot.
alone with the white walls and the lights humming by annagrin
I woke up in a police cell once…I had been tie-wrapped, beaten and bleeding and for the first 20 minutes upon waking I was speaking in tongues. I was in there for around 6 hours alone. The only imagery that comes close to describe that room was the hospital scene in Jacobs Ladder. Whatever you were going through in this poem…this reminded me of that . I am not going to critique because it is perfectly written and expressed and anyone who needs someone to explain the feelings in this, needs to find and live a life.
Mind Fields by JohnnyBlaze
Haha…now’s my chance to critique you Johnny boy! It seems that your entry is uniquely the only one who speaks from the interior primarily to an outside chaos and how it is able to envisage and ‘enact’ a change for the better. The 1st stanza recalls for me the ‘slide’ scene in Fight Club where he meditates in his penguin cave. The 3rd stanza and the imagery of the snow really stands out, knowing that whatever hides the ugly will eventually melt and will need to be dealt with practically. Love the title, love the intention (it wears overalls) and the energy of this Johnny.
Forever I Roam by XiaoLong
Another unique poem in that of living an experience within a constant change of landscape, in all its movement and season. Firstly this is beautifully written. The longing for something greener… the initial ambition….’the stage actor’….but there seeps a real positivity through this which I love…which leads to the acceptance and understanding of that the journey, with all that it can endow and lavish and is itself the treasure. Beautiful Xiao and so relatable as I love roaming too.
A BEAUTIFUL SUNSET by Stoney223
THE LOVE POEM of the competition right there. I hope you know how much I respect your understanding of underlying forms –systematic, ideological, fanatical – how they form and shape our world but more importantly and with nearly everyone’s disregard seemingly…our inner lives ultimately.
You took that landscape, holding our hands and created something more real and true….in every sense…to heal, to understand. Opening our eyes to possibilities, a real world (both inner and outer) that already exists and is waiting for us. Beautiful magic Stoney. ( I don’t comment on your poems as often as I should)
BODY OF MARIN by SatInUGal
EROTIC/SENSUAL poem of the competition right here.
I loved the comment on this “This reads like a novel by John Steinbeck or song by Woody Guthrie.”
I researched ‘Marin’ and found “The Marin is a warm, moist wind in the Gulf of Lion of France,…”..if this is your reference then you just blew my mind. Genius writing Kumar
tbc...
I was not expecting so many entries so I will try and make the critiques short. Again, these are my own feelings and interpretations of the poem and how they moved me personally and not set in stone or anything and if I interpreted them not in the way intended, then apologies beforehand.
Grateful by crimson
The love of your area seeps through this write. I am not surprised that you have such a deeply personal connection to the underlying elements within the landscape that are either dark or protective. I love that so much – you portrayed and relayed your inner ‘struggle’ and how the outer life can heal or provoke and that you ended the poem in accepting the dynamism within that ‘conflict’…that this is what makes you special and is a vital part of you. Beautiful.
Living letters by Calamityofgin
The landscape for you seems sensually closer - clawing almost room-like in claustrophobia with a throw, a pillow, hands of others ‘reaching’ or hanging, clinging….each detail embedded with their own history or motivation…again in some way like Crimsin, , there lays in the poet the importance of the ability to accept, ‘absorb’ and repair… Knowing you a little, I know of your strength and creative intelligence to be able to live this with loving attention. This poem spoke of wisdom beautifully,
sometimes you get mistaken for yourself by Strangeways_Rob
As visceral as anticipating a real ghost. You know that this is my kind of writing…raw yet steeped in some fog of yearning for some real thing - anything. The Fatima prayer….always that longing for god to be real - to show herself…but it is all we can do to just feel it. The salt in the air…no proof, no evidence…only our arm-hairs hackling at some presence. And if that is the only sign we have, then we are not real either…only another presence merging within presences. Stunningly emotional for me.
Stellar Conjunction and Heritage outlook by slipalong
a. I love that you chose the stars/the sky as your landscape…your arrière scène to your inner thoughts particularly in light of the recent conjunction…”The planetarium behind our doubts” is very powerful…particularly following it with “a map written on the empty hand.” Again there is yearning again….for something, some meaning in what appears random, chaotic from so far away – “beyond our reach” – beyond our touch. You end profoundly hopeful in the end… ‘a birth sign’..I felt that the most….it is unquestionably universal, and becoming a theme….that for renewal…
b. So as a direct contrast this turns inward …I am presuming that as an engineer you worked the mines. This felt deeply personal…a self-portrait almost, the image itself slightly out of focus. But the poem talks of returning what one had taken from the earth, the mother reclaiming what she had once offered… content..not with the surface romantic beauty of a thing, but the excavation of something much more important and honorable. Loved this slipalong..I am at that age now where this resonates quite a lot.
alone with the white walls and the lights humming by annagrin
I woke up in a police cell once…I had been tie-wrapped, beaten and bleeding and for the first 20 minutes upon waking I was speaking in tongues. I was in there for around 6 hours alone. The only imagery that comes close to describe that room was the hospital scene in Jacobs Ladder. Whatever you were going through in this poem…this reminded me of that . I am not going to critique because it is perfectly written and expressed and anyone who needs someone to explain the feelings in this, needs to find and live a life.
Mind Fields by JohnnyBlaze
Haha…now’s my chance to critique you Johnny boy! It seems that your entry is uniquely the only one who speaks from the interior primarily to an outside chaos and how it is able to envisage and ‘enact’ a change for the better. The 1st stanza recalls for me the ‘slide’ scene in Fight Club where he meditates in his penguin cave. The 3rd stanza and the imagery of the snow really stands out, knowing that whatever hides the ugly will eventually melt and will need to be dealt with practically. Love the title, love the intention (it wears overalls) and the energy of this Johnny.
Forever I Roam by XiaoLong
Another unique poem in that of living an experience within a constant change of landscape, in all its movement and season. Firstly this is beautifully written. The longing for something greener… the initial ambition….’the stage actor’….but there seeps a real positivity through this which I love…which leads to the acceptance and understanding of that the journey, with all that it can endow and lavish and is itself the treasure. Beautiful Xiao and so relatable as I love roaming too.
A BEAUTIFUL SUNSET by Stoney223
THE LOVE POEM of the competition right there. I hope you know how much I respect your understanding of underlying forms –systematic, ideological, fanatical – how they form and shape our world but more importantly and with nearly everyone’s disregard seemingly…our inner lives ultimately.
You took that landscape, holding our hands and created something more real and true….in every sense…to heal, to understand. Opening our eyes to possibilities, a real world (both inner and outer) that already exists and is waiting for us. Beautiful magic Stoney. ( I don’t comment on your poems as often as I should)
BODY OF MARIN by SatInUGal
EROTIC/SENSUAL poem of the competition right here.
I loved the comment on this “This reads like a novel by John Steinbeck or song by Woody Guthrie.”
I researched ‘Marin’ and found “The Marin is a warm, moist wind in the Gulf of Lion of France,…”..if this is your reference then you just blew my mind. Genius writing Kumar
tbc...
Landscaped Engines by Ahavati
You took as your landscape this season -this immediate climate- and know you are talking about something much larger and selfless and utterly spiritual. It is quite an honor that you took as your title, the title of the comp….I come from the countryside and garden…have gardened in Canada where winters reach often minus40c and the 1st 2 stanzas feel exactly as you describe…exposing oneself only to be bitten back to the bone, ashamed at even attempting such exposure…or a chained weight to be endured. Living the analogy …particularly the parts I love in the 3rd stanza…even the most powerful, strong, the most beautiful flora would not dare to expose themselves to growth at this time …those that do…”an extreme unction of last rites” and what season lays on our skin “before an unsurmountable resurrection”….this poem talks about seeds and what the seeds will meet. Stunning, of course. (Thanks for the beautiful visual too)
Venus Fly Trap by Eerie
Thanks for the visual poem Eerie, I feel that the visual has as much to say as the words and how it and the words coalesce, if not then I am taking it that way because it is a beautifully composed image/visual…and this is hard to critique without going pseudo Freudian/Jungian so forgive me beforehand….
You took as the landscape a living carnivorous plant thing metaphorically as ones heart and an ‘atelier’, a work desk as your image…a frigging crystal skull and paint brushes with a completed work of art behind…I know a little about you and what you have been through but all this seems to make so much sense and I do not want to get into all the layers of my bullshit of how this makes sense. There it represents your atmosphere; your smoking enigma which I think is better left indescribable and wonderful.
Loved it Eerie. Beautifully evocative visual poem.
Golden Empire by wallyroo92
There feels something National Geographic about this, and as a massive lover of their magazines I used to love how they were able to evoke in a very certain style and aesthetic the realism of how the changes/fortunes of different landscapes touch their inhabitants and this poem very much echoes that poetic realism. I would have loved to have seen an image alongside but I agree with the comments to your poem in that I can envision that landscape so vividly. The title is perfect and brings emphasis to what is really of worth. It is such a sobering yet entrancing entry.
A Full and Empty Room pts 1 and 2 by cloventongue89
This resonates uniquely…an emotionally laden landscape…perfect form cloventongue, everything is clearly and powerfully drawn and written straight from the heart…my feeling is that I am breathing inside a roomful of daguerreotype, a film. As a piece of art this is burnt edged…each individual line a poem in itself. I know this is an extremely personal poem and would hate to critique further but this met absolutely perfectly the objectives of this competition….thank you so much for sharing.
View From Our Window by gardenlover
First of all the photographs are stunning and so interesting to gawk at and inspect whilst reading the poem and yes I love the rhyme and flow and energy …its….there seems such an innocence compared to the sauciness of your other writes and maybe explains the teaser in the last line. There is definitely a feeling of peace and accomplishment even within the confines of the window. Thanks so much for sharing.
Love by the Sea by eljustignoreyou
Again so unique in that this is the only example of someone in complete and total emersion and admiration with their environment. I noticed that you are a free diver in your poet description so this comes as a love song direct to your lover or the sea herself, it really is stunning that level of understanding and I am so honored that you chose to enter this to the competition.
Ok, finally….the winner is:
sometimes you get mistaken for yourself by Strangeways_Rob.
Not only one of my favorite writers but probably the best writer on this site right now, his writing skips applicability and metaphor to our lives like he is skipping stones on a lake…and most will miss them. This poem talks of living ghosts within the landscape and makes us question what makes us real and the worth of being truly tangible. For myself anyways.
Runners up are Stoney and crimson.
Their love just shone through too brightly.
thanks to all. My critiques are my own and I hope they are all ok with everyone...I truly loved all the entries,
You took as your landscape this season -this immediate climate- and know you are talking about something much larger and selfless and utterly spiritual. It is quite an honor that you took as your title, the title of the comp….I come from the countryside and garden…have gardened in Canada where winters reach often minus40c and the 1st 2 stanzas feel exactly as you describe…exposing oneself only to be bitten back to the bone, ashamed at even attempting such exposure…or a chained weight to be endured. Living the analogy …particularly the parts I love in the 3rd stanza…even the most powerful, strong, the most beautiful flora would not dare to expose themselves to growth at this time …those that do…”an extreme unction of last rites” and what season lays on our skin “before an unsurmountable resurrection”….this poem talks about seeds and what the seeds will meet. Stunning, of course. (Thanks for the beautiful visual too)
Venus Fly Trap by Eerie
Thanks for the visual poem Eerie, I feel that the visual has as much to say as the words and how it and the words coalesce, if not then I am taking it that way because it is a beautifully composed image/visual…and this is hard to critique without going pseudo Freudian/Jungian so forgive me beforehand….
You took as the landscape a living carnivorous plant thing metaphorically as ones heart and an ‘atelier’, a work desk as your image…a frigging crystal skull and paint brushes with a completed work of art behind…I know a little about you and what you have been through but all this seems to make so much sense and I do not want to get into all the layers of my bullshit of how this makes sense. There it represents your atmosphere; your smoking enigma which I think is better left indescribable and wonderful.
Loved it Eerie. Beautifully evocative visual poem.
Golden Empire by wallyroo92
There feels something National Geographic about this, and as a massive lover of their magazines I used to love how they were able to evoke in a very certain style and aesthetic the realism of how the changes/fortunes of different landscapes touch their inhabitants and this poem very much echoes that poetic realism. I would have loved to have seen an image alongside but I agree with the comments to your poem in that I can envision that landscape so vividly. The title is perfect and brings emphasis to what is really of worth. It is such a sobering yet entrancing entry.
A Full and Empty Room pts 1 and 2 by cloventongue89
This resonates uniquely…an emotionally laden landscape…perfect form cloventongue, everything is clearly and powerfully drawn and written straight from the heart…my feeling is that I am breathing inside a roomful of daguerreotype, a film. As a piece of art this is burnt edged…each individual line a poem in itself. I know this is an extremely personal poem and would hate to critique further but this met absolutely perfectly the objectives of this competition….thank you so much for sharing.
View From Our Window by gardenlover
First of all the photographs are stunning and so interesting to gawk at and inspect whilst reading the poem and yes I love the rhyme and flow and energy …its….there seems such an innocence compared to the sauciness of your other writes and maybe explains the teaser in the last line. There is definitely a feeling of peace and accomplishment even within the confines of the window. Thanks so much for sharing.
Love by the Sea by eljustignoreyou
Again so unique in that this is the only example of someone in complete and total emersion and admiration with their environment. I noticed that you are a free diver in your poet description so this comes as a love song direct to your lover or the sea herself, it really is stunning that level of understanding and I am so honored that you chose to enter this to the competition.
Ok, finally….the winner is:
sometimes you get mistaken for yourself by Strangeways_Rob.
Not only one of my favorite writers but probably the best writer on this site right now, his writing skips applicability and metaphor to our lives like he is skipping stones on a lake…and most will miss them. This poem talks of living ghosts within the landscape and makes us question what makes us real and the worth of being truly tangible. For myself anyways.
Runners up are Stoney and crimson.
Their love just shone through too brightly.
thanks to all. My critiques are my own and I hope they are all ok with everyone...I truly loved all the entries,
Congratulations, Rob, Crimsin, and Stoney for jobs well done. And to all others who braved this competition. I personally enjoyed reading each one.
Thank you, nomoth, for not only a great competition, but for your thoughtful consideration and commentary of each entry. It was truly appreciated.
Thank you, nomoth, for not only a great competition, but for your thoughtful consideration and commentary of each entry. It was truly appreciated.
Anonymous
Ahavati said:"Johnny Boy" was priceless. 
Ha! nomoth, feel free to critique Johnny Boy any time you want! He welcomes it. And thank you for the assessment as well as the opportunity to participate in a unique comp.
Congrats to Strangeways_Rob, crimsin, and Stoney223, and everyone else who wrote a poem!
Ha! nomoth, feel free to critique Johnny Boy any time you want! He welcomes it. And thank you for the assessment as well as the opportunity to participate in a unique comp.
Congrats to Strangeways_Rob, crimsin, and Stoney223, and everyone else who wrote a poem!
