Poetry competition CLOSED 21st December 2016 8:41pm
WINNER
wallyroo92
wallyroo92
RUNNERS-UP:
MadameLavender
and Jade-Pandora
Beneath the Ashes
The snow has fallen
Around my twisted tombstone
I am the frozen
The last of those citizens
Who tried to flee gods
When the mountain burst her banks
An apocalypse
That reshaped eternity
Now I am doomed to remain
As but a shadow
A rough hewn, vague shaped statue
That was once human
Then waves of ash and fire
Crawled into my bones
And within the flesh of man
Is where they built home
Now I stand, a monument
To man-kinds' futility
In darknesses' face
We are forced to stand alone
Naked, defenceless
Against pyroclastic flows
All of our fences
Couldn't keep the lava out
Of these sinning hearts
But instead, let in the heat
It will wash away the past
Around my twisted tombstone
I am the frozen
The last of those citizens
Who tried to flee gods
When the mountain burst her banks
An apocalypse
That reshaped eternity
Now I am doomed to remain
As but a shadow
A rough hewn, vague shaped statue
That was once human
Then waves of ash and fire
Crawled into my bones
And within the flesh of man
Is where they built home
Now I stand, a monument
To man-kinds' futility
In darknesses' face
We are forced to stand alone
Naked, defenceless
Against pyroclastic flows
All of our fences
Couldn't keep the lava out
Of these sinning hearts
But instead, let in the heat
It will wash away the past
Forsaken (A Prayer)
(Beneath the Ashes - Last night in Pompeii)
Dear mother,
The earth has been shaking for the last few days,
After the festival the gods have gotten angry with us,
Even Apollo seems to have abandoned us
When Vesuvius spit fire into the sky.
Everyone has tried to run away but the streets are crowded,
People trampled, animals lay dying in the roads,
We were unable to get out of the city,
We were unable to see in the ash and dust.
My wife, daughter and I have taken refuge in the temple with others.
But the gods seem to have forsaken us.
The air grows thicker and hotter, we can’t breathe.
Dear mother, I sit here in the dark in prayer,
The life seems to have gone from my wife and daughter,
Beneath the ashes all I can do is hold them,
Everything I have is gone, and now they’re...
The earth is shaking even stronger,
I’m afraid mother,
It’s the end of the world
Mother, I…
Dear mother,
The earth has been shaking for the last few days,
After the festival the gods have gotten angry with us,
Even Apollo seems to have abandoned us
When Vesuvius spit fire into the sky.
Everyone has tried to run away but the streets are crowded,
People trampled, animals lay dying in the roads,
We were unable to get out of the city,
We were unable to see in the ash and dust.
My wife, daughter and I have taken refuge in the temple with others.
But the gods seem to have forsaken us.
The air grows thicker and hotter, we can’t breathe.
Dear mother, I sit here in the dark in prayer,
The life seems to have gone from my wife and daughter,
Beneath the ashes all I can do is hold them,
Everything I have is gone, and now they’re...
The earth is shaking even stronger,
I’m afraid mother,
It’s the end of the world
Mother, I…
Written by wallyroo92
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This was a really difficult comp to judge. Everyone posted such uniquely different and amazing pieces. Everything from one line to incredibly well written longer pieces.
Congratulations to wallyroo92 for zipping in the incredible final entry at the last minute. You told it from a perspective that brought tears to my eyes...an unfinished letter, words cut off mid-thought.
Jade, I loved the depth you poured into your character and told their story through thoughts and the last line was amazing!
MadameLavender, I loved that you brought an animal's viewpoint into the mix. I felt like I was reading the pure thoughts of a dog and its anxiety for its owner. I wasn't expecting anyone to come at the write from that angle and you surprised me happily.
A few mentions:
Jaykay and Nemo_Omen, your entries were...while very brief...quite entertaining. I chuckled with both. Thank you for entering them and bringing brevity to what is quite a sad subject.
Grace, I loved your entry and how you used a seeress's voice to tell the story. You gave her life, and took us through her emotions. It was beautifully written and I enjoyed it very much!
Adam, you developed an intense and complex character experiencing agonizing heartbreak...and them melded it with the eruption. I loved the warrior's viewpoint and you took me somewhere I was not expecting to go. You used incredible imagery and analogy and fused them beautifully.
CalamityGin, your character and the love she held...wanting to use her last breath to call out his name...brought tears to my eyes. You brought her to life for those moments, and she was beautiful.
I read them all so many times. I wanted to award everyone. Each came from a different story and brought new life and endings to the picture. I enjoyed each for its own vista. Thank you all so much for joining in my little competition! It was true pleasure and privilege to read your entries.
Congratulations to wallyroo92 for zipping in the incredible final entry at the last minute. You told it from a perspective that brought tears to my eyes...an unfinished letter, words cut off mid-thought.
Jade, I loved the depth you poured into your character and told their story through thoughts and the last line was amazing!
MadameLavender, I loved that you brought an animal's viewpoint into the mix. I felt like I was reading the pure thoughts of a dog and its anxiety for its owner. I wasn't expecting anyone to come at the write from that angle and you surprised me happily.
A few mentions:
Jaykay and Nemo_Omen, your entries were...while very brief...quite entertaining. I chuckled with both. Thank you for entering them and bringing brevity to what is quite a sad subject.
Grace, I loved your entry and how you used a seeress's voice to tell the story. You gave her life, and took us through her emotions. It was beautifully written and I enjoyed it very much!
Adam, you developed an intense and complex character experiencing agonizing heartbreak...and them melded it with the eruption. I loved the warrior's viewpoint and you took me somewhere I was not expecting to go. You used incredible imagery and analogy and fused them beautifully.
CalamityGin, your character and the love she held...wanting to use her last breath to call out his name...brought tears to my eyes. You brought her to life for those moments, and she was beautiful.
I read them all so many times. I wanted to award everyone. Each came from a different story and brought new life and endings to the picture. I enjoyed each for its own vista. Thank you all so much for joining in my little competition! It was true pleasure and privilege to read your entries.
Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Thank you Willow. This was certainly an interesting concept and a great exercise. I salute those others who submitted wonderful work as well. I submitted the piece at the last minute with that specific intent, what would I say or pray as time ran out.
