Give me your honesty, not your kindness
Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Anonymous
Anonymous said:<< post removed >>
Probably because you only assumed you included said premise into the poem.
It has a few genuinely poetic moments in opposition to some awfully farfetched dialogue. Or is it farfetchingly awful ....?
There's a lot of back and forth finger, tongue and eyeball action going on between two individuals we know nothing absolutely nothing about because you failed to provide them with any backstory or personality.
So, it's kind of like flipping channels in a motel and stumbling across a two minute clip of softcore porn - then finding out that it is just a teaser for the whole movie you can't watch without charging $4.95 to your credit card.
Trimmed down to 1/10th of the size with a little poeticism added and it might actually give me a boner.
Probably because you only assumed you included said premise into the poem.
It has a few genuinely poetic moments in opposition to some awfully farfetched dialogue. Or is it farfetchingly awful ....?
There's a lot of back and forth finger, tongue and eyeball action going on between two individuals we know nothing absolutely nothing about because you failed to provide them with any backstory or personality.
So, it's kind of like flipping channels in a motel and stumbling across a two minute clip of softcore porn - then finding out that it is just a teaser for the whole movie you can't watch without charging $4.95 to your credit card.
Trimmed down to 1/10th of the size with a little poeticism added and it might actually give me a boner.
I don't see an issue with what was presented. The person asked for a critique. It's obviously a poem, and not a short story. Why does a piece have to have nothing but raw sex involved for it to be about anything worth reading is the real question.
I look at it like this, if you're not dissecting a piece, and giving examples of how to better it, then why burden yourself and the writer with nonsense? For what, to be heard, to feel like your words have weight. This is solely speculation.
The piece is fine as, keep writing, and explore. Take care.
I look at it like this, if you're not dissecting a piece, and giving examples of how to better it, then why burden yourself and the writer with nonsense? For what, to be heard, to feel like your words have weight. This is solely speculation.
The piece is fine as, keep writing, and explore. Take care.
Anonymous
Manley_Pointer said:I don't see an issue with what was presented. The person asked for a critique. It's obviously a poem, and not a short story. Why does a piece have to have nothing but raw sex involved for it to be about anything worth reading is the real question.
I look at it like this, if you're not dissecting a piece, and giving examples of how to better it, then why burden yourself and the writer with nonsense? For what, to be heard, to feel like your words have weight. This is solely speculation.
The piece is fine as, keep writing, and explore. Take care.
Nobody said it would benefit from more raw sex.
You are assuming too much regarding what was provided in each critique.
Sometimes critique is just providing an honest reaction like, "I had no desire to read it more than once." Doesn't mean it was a bad poem. I've watched plenty of decent movies only once.
And public critique can benefit three parties : the writer, the critiquer and an audience full of writers trying to evolve their craft. It's going out of one's way to help others, provided those others choose to help themselves to one's advice.
I look at it like this, if you're not dissecting a piece, and giving examples of how to better it, then why burden yourself and the writer with nonsense? For what, to be heard, to feel like your words have weight. This is solely speculation.
The piece is fine as, keep writing, and explore. Take care.
Nobody said it would benefit from more raw sex.
You are assuming too much regarding what was provided in each critique.
Sometimes critique is just providing an honest reaction like, "I had no desire to read it more than once." Doesn't mean it was a bad poem. I've watched plenty of decent movies only once.
And public critique can benefit three parties : the writer, the critiquer and an audience full of writers trying to evolve their craft. It's going out of one's way to help others, provided those others choose to help themselves to one's advice.
This thread disappointed me. I was looking to see if a question I have had been answered and I stumbled on to it. Miss Sub's answer is what I'm always looking for when I say I want honest criticism but never get. I mean I like that people don't pick on the subject matter, and I like that people tell me when they like my stuff, but why bother saying I want honest criticism if I don't want, or need it. As it is, I have to rely on likes and reads, and I'm not getting much from that. I was hoping this site would make me a better writer, and now I have my doubts.
Anonymous
TimWombles said:This thread disappointed me. I was looking to see if a question I have had been answered and I stumbled on to it. Miss Sub's answer is what I'm always looking for when I say I want honest criticism but never get. I mean I like that people don't pick on the subject matter, and I like that people tell me when they like my stuff, but why bother saying I want honest criticism if I don't want, or need it. As it is, I have to rely on likes and reads, and I'm not getting much from that. I was hoping this site would make me a better writer, and now I have my doubts.
LOL 4 years ago, I can't even remember who started this thread and what the poem was.
Tim, this site will help you, if you give ( to the right people ) what you want in return.
And NaPoWriMo is coming in April.
https://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poetry-writing-month/
Sign up in March and you'll get a workout for sure!
LOL 4 years ago, I can't even remember who started this thread and what the poem was.
Tim, this site will help you, if you give ( to the right people ) what you want in return.
And NaPoWriMo is coming in April.
https://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poetry-writing-month/
Sign up in March and you'll get a workout for sure!
Anonymous
And where is the best seller from these that know exactly what they’re doing?
No where.
No where.
Anonymous
Ricky-sJournals said:And where is the best seller from these that know exactly what they’re doing?
No where.
rickE, some people have experience when it comes to crafting poetry & lyrics that are enjoyable enough to read more than once. You might actually learn something about your own writing if you ever genuinely attempted to help others with theirs. Or, asked for help with your own.
No where.
rickE, some people have experience when it comes to crafting poetry & lyrics that are enjoyable enough to read more than once. You might actually learn something about your own writing if you ever genuinely attempted to help others with theirs. Or, asked for help with your own.
JohnnyBlaze said:
Probably because you only assumed you included said premise into the poem.
It has a few genuinely poetic moments in opposition to some awfully farfetched dialogue. Or is it farfetchingly awful ....?
There's a lot of back and forth finger, tongue and eyeball action going on between two individuals we know nothing absolutely nothing about because you failed to provide them with any backstory or personality.
So, it's kind of like flipping channels in a motel and stumbling across a two minute clip of softcore porn - then finding out that it is just a teaser for the whole movie you can't watch without charging $4.95 to your credit card.
Trimmed down to 1/10th of the size with a little poeticism added and it might actually give me a boner.
Why does this describe 95% of erotic poetry😂
Probably because you only assumed you included said premise into the poem.
It has a few genuinely poetic moments in opposition to some awfully farfetched dialogue. Or is it farfetchingly awful ....?
There's a lot of back and forth finger, tongue and eyeball action going on between two individuals we know nothing absolutely nothing about because you failed to provide them with any backstory or personality.
So, it's kind of like flipping channels in a motel and stumbling across a two minute clip of softcore porn - then finding out that it is just a teaser for the whole movie you can't watch without charging $4.95 to your credit card.
Trimmed down to 1/10th of the size with a little poeticism added and it might actually give me a boner.
Why does this describe 95% of erotic poetry😂
