Sunshine Smile

Author's Note: Back in the Summer of 85, I was working as the Assistant Manager of a gas station/mini-mart. It was a very hot Summer that year and I was generally very lazy about doing my paperwork, waiting till the last minute. On one particularly hot day, I was especially lazy and didn't get around to finishing the paperwork till it was nearly time to go. That Summer was also the first year that a new swimming pool had been opened in the park and I was in the habit of going for a swim every day after work. I had my eye on this really cute lifeguard who had this pink swim suite she often wore. If it wasn't hot enough from the Sun, she upped the anti in that thing. So there I was, trying to whip through my paperwork to get to the pool to go swimming and see this amazing life guard, when all of the sudden I felt a poetic inspiration. When these feelings hit me, I always write something, I have to, even if it isn't any good, I have to get it out or I become mentally washed out and distracted by anything and everything. It took me somewhere around a half hour to 45 minutes, but I wound up writing a poem to this life guard called "Someone's Drowning In Your Pool". I got my things together and went to the park ready for a nice long swim. When I got to the park, I could see in the distance that no one was in the pool and lots of people were walking away from the pool area. Then I saw her, the lifeguard, walking away, coming in my direction. It was in the middle of the afternoon on a very hot sunny day, so I was surprised to say the least. When she got near me, I asked her why everyone was leaving. She told me that a young boy had drowned and the pool was closed. Talk about a moment when shivers go up and down your spine. It was a terrible thing to happen, but it blew my mind on so many levels. At the exact moment this boy was drowning, I was writing a poem called, "Someone's Drowning In Your Pool". That is enough to make my head spin, but what has always bothered me most, even 30 years later, is that I should have been in the pool at the time he drowned. Why was I writing that poem? It's not like I wonder if I had been there, could I have saved him, but more like, I am sure I would have. It was my habit to swim from end to end, often underwater and always with my eyes open so I wouldn't bump into anyone. There's almost no way I would not have seen him in time. Why did I feel the inspiration to write at that very moment? Why was I lazier that day than others? Fate is the only explanation I can imagine. If there is such a thing, and it was God's will for that boy to die that day in that pool, then I had to be delayed at work or it would not have happened. Still, I will always have a feeling that my lazy attitude contributed to the death of a young boy. Maybe that's why I worked with kids for so long, trying to help them make better lives for themselves. Maybe that was God's plan all along. I won't know until I die, and chances are, I won't know then either because I lack the faith to believe in God and Jesus Christ. It leaves me wondering what life is all about, if there is a reason. Could it be mere coincidence that there is even life on Earth at all? Perhaps it is a biological stroke of luck that we are and will never learn the great unknown. So there I stood, with a poem in my pocket, walking this lifeguard home and feeling a heavy load of guilt, as if it was all my fault for not being there. Realizing at that moment there was no way I could give that poem to her after what had happened, I knew I had to re-write it and change the title, now "Sunshine Smile", so I did. I don't have the exact date, but it is close. Neither poem is among my best, but the reason for their writing is of great importance to me.     ~*08/31/1985     jj johnson           http://astore.amazon.com/seedsandweeds-20

Oh mr poetryman you give me that loving feeling.. so lovely..

Maybe you should. I have the same problem if you will.. I'll write something for someone from my soul and its as if they could give a flying fuck. merely a half ass smile.. I write something for someone else and it lights up their world. So very strange but beautiful .. I've always believed what one won't love another one will and love doing it.. So I feel you there.