Burn me down

 *Content warning for mention of self harm*
Every night is the same.
There's plenty to blame.
It all goes back to my depression.
I'm traumatized by the act of letting go
of someone
I could have spent my night with,
even the rest of my life with
They were that kind of impressionable lover
Don't even have to say the "lover"
I can't go to sleep
because I see their laugh in the trees
and the scene's so familiar
when I'm on my knees
trying to hold back from
the hidden bottles
and alcoholism,
trying to hold back
from the urge to self harm
And the static replays,
the audience cheers
My devil winks,
my chest sinks
I want to commit arson
but I just lie awake, sparking
Every night is the same.
Fry my brain til 3 AM
I'm addicted to bad habits
and strange women
I'm traumatized by being
pushed to let go
They'll never know
what I sing of back home
with my aching head
begging to be broken in
My body quivers,
and I think of cigarettes
Now I feel lonely again
This is the worst season to live in,
the season of flings
I'd feel guilty
calling my best friend
And the static replays,
and the audience cheers
My angel cries,
my brain sighs
I want to commit arson
but I just lie awake, sparking