Poems About Eating Disorders by Top Critiquers

this is my story
...not a human experience absolute
but it was never about food
or appetite...or lack thereof

it's imperative you understand
no...
it was much more than that

a desperate need for the one damn thing
sorely lacking in my life
something stolen before I knew it was needed
...or that it even existed

an elusive slippery kind of concept
information...without proof
& I could not comprehend...
...something I'd never had

so I created my own version
refusing to eat what I was...

Thirty five+ years
of fighting an ED

Called bulimia

is far from easy
'cause healing
is not linear it's

setbacks falling
down & crawling
back up starting

over at point 0

the holistic work
i am doing with S
causes changes

slowly over time

going to the gym
and working out is
a mood boost yet

still didn't suffice

added microdoses
Truffles to the mix

it certainly asks for
some heavy artillery

this fucking ED of mine

Once I was thin, relatively, I think,
I don't know
but by comparison, not at all.
When they said I was "healthy"
it was a joke I wasn't in on,
a frog in my cereal,
maggots in my macaroni,
it was the taste of iron
in every bite



I wanted to be relative, I wanted to be thin
by comparison, thinner and shrink wrapped
so tight, so smooth, my bones were clutching
skin around them like a blanket
in a storm



And then I was thin, and the hollow mapped
out my sinew, and praise filled...

Watching body positive media for me is like putting a band aid on a much deeper cut. It's comforting for the moment, but isn't a quick fix.

Trying on a pair of shorts yesterday that were tighter than usual, I still find that I'm triggered deeply by things like this happening. My perfectionist tendencies want to still go haywire. While I didn't fully panic, I still subconsciously was feeling helpless about it.

Hurricane Beryl hit here in Texas and made our power go out. My mom and I share one car, and more than one time, my mom would be gone with it before I even got up....