deepundergroundpoetry.com
.:The Great State of Limbo:.
like a
parachute
the one that wouldn’t open
had me doing alotta hoping
about them brakes
about mistakes
not doing what it takes
that guardrail; how I hit it hard
smack-dab then over
exiting onto the boulevard
was I playing the last card?
the multiple end-over flips
must’ve been too many sips
didn’t need map nor the GPS
now I'm awaiting The Test
will I be the transient or am I the guest?
how I now felt without feeling
my fate forever sealing
guess I’ll have to settle in
this time without the gin
while I’m hoping for the best
in this belated state I’m in
.
.
Competition Entry: Jaspersilence's "You're Going To Die"
..
Published 19th Mar 2013
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 5
reading list entries 1
comments 9
reads 806
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
20th Mar 2013 00:02am
Nice write kriticool....strider in limbo
21st Mar 2013 2:53pm
20th Mar 2013 1:34am
21st Mar 2013 3:02pm
.
.
hahaha
to somewhat paraphrase T.T.
what's luck got to do, got to do with it?
what's luck but a well edited commotion?
who needs that luck when the fix cant be broken?
Yaameen?
.
.
.
hahaha
to somewhat paraphrase T.T.
what's luck got to do, got to do with it?
what's luck but a well edited commotion?
who needs that luck when the fix cant be broken?
Yaameen?
.
.
Anonymous
20th Mar 2013 9:41am
nice write indeed, good luck on the comp..well done.
21st Mar 2013 3:05pm
.
.
Thanx miki
indeed... well done? perhaps
but we're tryin to keep it rare
.
.
.
Thanx miki
indeed... well done? perhaps
but we're tryin to keep it rare
.
.
20th Mar 2013 10:00am
a good write, though lacking the intensity of the title... it almost feels like you rushed into this
(big fan of the word 'limbo') :P
(big fan of the word 'limbo') :P
21st Mar 2013 3:15pm
.
.
YO one-three
open'd w/ the parachute to put a little float onnit. your view says it wasn't enuff. I wasn't going for the RUSH tho,,, but was attempting to achieve some URGENCY. Tried to portray the protag as off the chain. Your view is appreciated, don't be shy with it
Thanx fo checkin me.. out
.
.
.
YO one-three
open'd w/ the parachute to put a little float onnit. your view says it wasn't enuff. I wasn't going for the RUSH tho,,, but was attempting to achieve some URGENCY. Tried to portray the protag as off the chain. Your view is appreciated, don't be shy with it
Thanx fo checkin me.. out
.
.
21st Mar 2013 7:42pm
aye... but I always check you out... just never have time to comment :P
if I were so shy I'd die lol
if I were so shy I'd die lol
