Scrambled thoughts

my mind is empty
yet thoughts are swimming
i dont know whats going on
but i think somethings wrong with me
i have the desire to hurt myself again
mabybe just a little nick
turn on the lighter and singe my skin
im so confused and scared
i dont want to go to the dark place any more
but how can i stop it when my mind betrays me
i cant even trust anyone anymore
and if they ever read this
theyd know how scarred i was
but they would know i was broken
and who wants a broken friend
who constantly battles with themselves
to not inflict pain to feel peace
what would they say if they found out
about the shit ive been through
would they tell to get attention, for gossip
who can you trust when you cant trust yourself
when you cant trust your closest friends
no one thats who
and by the time i wrote this
i had 4 deep cuts along my arm
3 burn marks
and relief that is only temporary