Interview with Self

I am in a mood.  In a funk.  I've lost myself and am tired of leading the search party.  I want to give up, accept the situation as it is.  But that's considered unhealthy.  We always have to strive to be a better self!  With that b.s. in mind, I asked my self about this belief and here is how the conversation went:

Me: Hello, Self.  How are you today?

Self: Fuck off.

Me: Niiiice.  Umm.  I'm going to ask you a few questions about being better.

Self: Fuck off.  What's so great about being better?

Me: Exactly!  Right?  Why can't we just be who we are?  What's so bad about that?  Why do we have to feel bad about being content with ourselves?

Self: Fuck off.  Leave me alone.  Shouldn't be too hard for you.

Me: What?  WTF, MFer?  What's that supposed to mean?

Self: Fuck off!  You idiotic Pringle-Not-the-Original-Kind-Cuz-Those-Are-Good-But-the-Nasty-Pizza-Flavored-Ones.  You leave me alone, I leave you alone.  It's how it works.  You gotta put in the time if you don't want me to do the crime.

Me:  Uhhh, I don't think that's how it goes, but whatever.  Are you saying that if I ignore my self, then my self ignores me?  Why do I have to do all the work in this relationship??!!  You fuck off!!

Self: Fuck off.

And then my self left.  Fizzled away in the cloud colored, airy fingers of a smoker's cough.  *SIGH*  I do understand what it said, but I'm not ready to put the effort in to remedy my situation.  I want my self to suffer a little more, I think.