Held.

It wrenches through my soul
As it races through my brain; Those thoughts I kept myself from thinking
Yesterday.

For if I did I feared I'd find
reason to walk and run and hide.

It's too important, I tell myself with a cry,
to run away from this small world and die.

To feel the new, to be free, to not worry
about one thing
to be logical
for a change

To think the thoughts I used to think
would be to cry and scream
and shout and be

Anger rules me. I'm punching and kicking no one but me.

Now the inside 
of this arsoned life I used to hide
Is coming closer to being found out
Because the blood of the wounds
found its way out
of the cloth that held 
for so many years
all of my fears.

I've gotta think it out! 
And you've just gotta let me scream and shout.
I've gotta punch the resentment through me.
And make someone feel the dementedness and tears.
Of my intellect now so deeply seared.

My sadness so immense
as I lay so small under my covers 
in this huge universe that......I can't seem to grasp.
Intent?

There's a beast raging in me.
Someone I had to be.
I'd rather lay here to die, than hear another word
of this crap filled with lies. 

Of my life before my eyes.
 Of the sanctified? 

It's too scary, even for me
to glance my whole individuality.

These thoughts i've just set free?
Ha! Just an atom of the beast in me.

And I am collapsed with an inward cry
because isn't gravity too much
to hide?