deepundergroundpoetry.com
My Fate
The winter came as promised,
Taking with it half the men,
Then their men came as promised,
To take the rest of them,
They’ve left me to live,
I took myself from home,
Still they took me further,
Killed all I’ve known,
And so they leave me.
When shall my own fate be shown,
Days turn to night so quickly,
They feed me less and less,
No longer fit my clothes,
They don’t even torment me,
I exist that’s all,
I took myself from home,
Still they took me further,
Killed all I’ve known,
And so they leave me,
When shall my own fate be shown,
Hear the cannon in the distance,
My own are fighting bravely,
I pray that they break through,
But they I turn are broken,
Perhaps another day,
I took myself from home,
Still they took me further,
Killed all I’ve known,
And so they leave me,
When shall my own fate be shown,
I’m paying for their losses,
Since I wear the Scarlet coat,
I will not see the sunrise,
But I’ve seen my share,
Night shall comfort me,
I took myself from home,
Still they took me further,
Killed all I’ve known,
And so they leave me,
When shall my own fate be shown,
My one will break through one day
Soon, there time will come to pay.
Taking with it half the men,
Then their men came as promised,
To take the rest of them,
They’ve left me to live,
I took myself from home,
Still they took me further,
Killed all I’ve known,
And so they leave me.
When shall my own fate be shown,
Days turn to night so quickly,
They feed me less and less,
No longer fit my clothes,
They don’t even torment me,
I exist that’s all,
I took myself from home,
Still they took me further,
Killed all I’ve known,
And so they leave me,
When shall my own fate be shown,
Hear the cannon in the distance,
My own are fighting bravely,
I pray that they break through,
But they I turn are broken,
Perhaps another day,
I took myself from home,
Still they took me further,
Killed all I’ve known,
And so they leave me,
When shall my own fate be shown,
I’m paying for their losses,
Since I wear the Scarlet coat,
I will not see the sunrise,
But I’ve seen my share,
Night shall comfort me,
I took myself from home,
Still they took me further,
Killed all I’ve known,
And so they leave me,
When shall my own fate be shown,
My one will break through one day
Soon, there time will come to pay.
Published 1st Mar 2013
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1st Mar 2013 11:14pm
a few things in this poem read awkwardly, like "I pray that they break through, But they I turn are broken,"
i can kinda see where you were heading with this piece, the repetitive nature of 'they' becomes grating after awhile, like i want to know their name, or see them described as something, instead of some faceless foe.
i can kinda see where you were heading with this piece, the repetitive nature of 'they' becomes grating after awhile, like i want to know their name, or see them described as something, instead of some faceless foe.
2nd Mar 2013 5:31pm
"before they i turn are broken" simply an amateurish typo im afraid. should read 'they in turn are broken'.
so the 'they' in that particular phrase does not refer to the other 'they', the ones who grate you ha..
i suppose i dont identify them as such, because its pretty much a story of someone being captured in war, by the enemy. as there have been countless wars, between every single nation on earth, i didn't see the point in singling out just one, thus accidently demonising one nation.
so the 'they' in that particular phrase does not refer to the other 'they', the ones who grate you ha..
i suppose i dont identify them as such, because its pretty much a story of someone being captured in war, by the enemy. as there have been countless wars, between every single nation on earth, i didn't see the point in singling out just one, thus accidently demonising one nation.
