That Rainy Night In March

About an hour ago I got in my car and decided to take a drive, spend some time with Conor Oberst and just clear my head. Somehow that drive brought me back here, to the street we walked together on that rainy night in March. That night changed everything for me, suddenly I was feeling things for you that I didn’t know were even possible. The tension I wasn’t aware existed between us became overwhelmingly apparent and even if I tried, it would have been impossible to ignore something that real.

That night the possibilities were endless and even though I was scared, I jumped without a parachute. We had true love right in the palm of our hands and we thought we were going to write a love story we’d never write a final page for, because we’d be writing it forever. The chapters which followed the climax of our love story were better than even the world’s greatest romance novels, we were unbelievably happy. This is where our mistake was made; we never expected our story to include a falling action and as writers we both should have known better.

All of a sudden everything was falling apart and there was too much distance between us for me to reach for your hand. I wish we would have been prepared to handle everything life was throwing at us. I know for the most part, it was my fault and every day I regret not saving us. We were both just in over our heads and we lost hope, we should have never stopped hoping. When the final suspense came our relationship was so damaged and we were so distant that we didn’t even realize, we were both already outlining the final chapter. This was another missed opportunity to salvage the love we spent so much time fighting for, and we just let it slip right through our fingers.

It’s freezing outside and I’m still sitting here on the curb of this street, but for some reason I just can’t bring myself to get back in my car and drive home. It seems like just yesterday we were standing here and I can still remember some words from our first chapters.

I remember you were walking faster than I was, I kept yelling ahead at you to slow down and you stopped to wait for me. I remember catching up to you and complaining about having to walk in the rain at night, I also remember being slightly intoxicated as well. I started yelling at you because I was cold, I told you the rain was ruining my hair and I had put effort into it that night. You smiled, “Trying to look pretty for me?” I remember laughing it off just as I always did when you’d hit on me. You took off the brown leather jacket you were wearing and offered it to me, I rejected the offer but you walked towards me anyway. You stood in front of me while I whined and complained, and you held your jacket over my head to block the rain. I tried to hide that I was smiling but I’m positive you noticed. “You’re cute when you’re mad, Bri.” I looked up at you and our eyes met, it was that exact moment I realized I wanted you to always be around. I wanted that moment forever.

I wish we would have fought for us and never started writing a single word of that conclusion. I regret allowing you to leave but I said all that I could and it didn’t matter, you were already half way into writing our last sentence. And just like that; THE END.

And I’ve never been someone who reads the sequel.