Minds Reflection in the Heart

    In the murky reflection I stare at myself and others on the bus. Observing the happiness and joy, the boredom, And the sadness that comes across the faces of those sitting across from me. I think to myself “why must we wear these masks every day? To simply just forget ourselves and who we are to exist for someone else?”

   As I continue to delve in the dark reaches of my mind the emotions continue to spiral down ward threatening to Become the plane crashing into the heart with a fiery evil of angst against myself. I think: “do we have to be afraid of trivial things in front of our peers? Do we have to fear every detail and every thread of our own selves? Must we be afraid of showing each other our true colors so much to the point that society collapses beneath our feet”?

   Eventually stumbling across those last lines I felt the hypocrisy amongst my rage with society. I myself fear who I am and where it will get me. I thought of my friend whom I just hung with. I was then saddened by what I had felt. The cold void of red and blue. You might say its just the flow of blood with and without oxygen, but its More than just missing air. It misses the love. Memories of a time where talks would feel like forever, hugs provided warmth, and the simple kiss provided a blast of un-explainable energy of excitement.

   It us funny how I can look at myself every day and say I want to be alone. I work too much with people and I need my break, yet I long for the one person to be in my life and eventually end up in the stars with. I know I wont get a happy valentine, or a cake for my birthday, or really much of anything. The thought that counts has always been everything. More so its that I am human and I am full of imperfections. I can’t live up to the ridiculously high standards of society, but I can’t end up putting myself down out of fear either. I have to be myself a bare through everything to get where I want to be.