deepundergroundpoetry.com
She Said It!
Parched under the day's sun
my companions lingered on the insanity
of one too many mirages
set on a quest
by something the girl said
Ancient tales made it sound like
the Ark of the Covenant
leery was I with thoughts of Indiana Jones
but intrigue won out
with something the girl said
The old man just couldn't make it
parted with him in town
another of the party may never be found
after miles of sand and dirt displacement
enlivened by something the girl said
Burial tomb on the horizon
or so we thought at first view
upon inspection much different
oh reactions from the crew
based on something the girl said
"The artifacts of a lost love", said the note:
a scarf still scented, a picture at the beach,
bracelet of gold, and a cigarette holder
was the trove found
from listening to something the girl said
On route out of the crypt
we discovered a second message hidden
said simply, "for those beguiled by
the ultimate deceiver, she got ya!"
beware of something a girl says!
my companions lingered on the insanity
of one too many mirages
set on a quest
by something the girl said
Ancient tales made it sound like
the Ark of the Covenant
leery was I with thoughts of Indiana Jones
but intrigue won out
with something the girl said
The old man just couldn't make it
parted with him in town
another of the party may never be found
after miles of sand and dirt displacement
enlivened by something the girl said
Burial tomb on the horizon
or so we thought at first view
upon inspection much different
oh reactions from the crew
based on something the girl said
"The artifacts of a lost love", said the note:
a scarf still scented, a picture at the beach,
bracelet of gold, and a cigarette holder
was the trove found
from listening to something the girl said
On route out of the crypt
we discovered a second message hidden
said simply, "for those beguiled by
the ultimate deceiver, she got ya!"
beware of something a girl says!
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comments 18
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Re: She Said It!
Anonymous
29th Jan 2013 4:55pm
A thoroughly enjoyable read, Jazz. The last two stanza's finished the piece, perfectly! Great repetitive last lines in each stanza. Very effective! :)
Carlene
Carlene

1

re: Re: She Said It!
29th Jan 2013 5:53pm
Re: She Said It!
29th Jan 2013 5:22pm
A story that was just as exciting as watching an Indiana Jones or Tomb Raider Movie. (I am a mad fan of both)
Lends for expansion into something bigger than this. great write.
Lends for expansion into something bigger than this. great write.
1

re: Re: She Said It!
29th Jan 2013 5:58pm
re: re: Re: She Said It!
29th Jan 2013 6:29pm
Re: She Said It!
29th Jan 2013 5:51pm
Sometimes, something a girl says, can move mountains, dry oceans, cure sadness or even kill a spirit with it's power.
I Love this, Jazz! Unsure what exactly your ink leaves lingering in me..... but Im closer to placing my finger on it! :) :)
INCREDIBLE INK with a grand delivery! xo
I Love this, Jazz! Unsure what exactly your ink leaves lingering in me..... but Im closer to placing my finger on it! :) :)
INCREDIBLE INK with a grand delivery! xo
1

re: Re: She Said It!
29th Jan 2013 6:07pm
What my ink leaves lingering in you? That you even go there suggests a introspection way ahead of me!
I thank you for the kind regard.
I thank you for the kind regard.
Anonymous
- Edited 1st May 2021 7:45am
29th Jan 2013 7:25pm
<< post removed >>

re: re: Re: She Said It!
30th Jan 2013 2:16am
So that is two lovely sisters trying to figure out what my words do to them? Ever seen a brother blush?
Anonymous
- Edited 1st May 2021 7:45am
30th Jan 2013 12:33pm
<< post removed >>

Re: She Said It!
re: Re: She Said It!
30th Jan 2013 2:20am
Thanks, fully exploring mystery via a poem is a goal but sometimes the keyboard doesn't take me where my head thought my ideas were going!
Re: She Said It!
29th Jan 2013 10:34pm
re: Re: She Said It!
29th Jan 2013 10:54pm
You in the right place...sounds like poetry.com...drives you nuts making you comment!
0

Re: She Said It!
29th Jan 2013 10:55pm
Clever write and twist with a lesson for us all.
'If you want to have fun with a girl in a cave thenget there first!'
'If you want to have fun with a girl in a cave thenget there first!'
0

re: Re: She Said It!
30th Jan 2013 2:23am
Um that wasn't exactly my intent but I no problems with your interpretation.
Re: She Said It!
29th Jan 2013 11:36pm
re: Re: She Said It!
30th Jan 2013 2:25am
Oh thanks Fire! Glad I could make you smile if only for a brief minute with what you are going through.