The rosequartz in Eden

I’ve done this before,  
Stuck a dirty snout in the trough –  
Sought,  
Only finding snorts of muddy rain water.  
   
From here the sky is far away,  
My neurotransmitters bounce
There and back,  
And rather manic    
I've sworn I’d rather endless nights of terrors  
In exchange for the God-deal of keeping you.  
   
Suddenly what I believe in  
Incarcerates and frees me,  
Simultaneously:  
   
Like a vagrant,  
There is no-where to go,  
But the metaphysical lands,  
Where liking you is  
A beautiful dose    
Of hurt.