deepundergroundpoetry.com
Better Than Beans On Toast.
Lewd, screwed and imbued.
Filled with what the fuck was that;
drugs, and snake-charmers hugs in spoiled foil
fucks them over, hypnotize the despise
into lies, beyond mascara laden cries.
Sucking, fucking. Who the fuck’s looking
at pustules pissing puss and blood?
Track-marks float, skin-septic spokes,
choked veins strained and screaming,
tortured, steaming, fucked yet gleaming eyed.
The needle piercing, not into an optic nerve just yet;
instead the flaccid penis feels the silver stainless steel
penetrate and flood the blood, unforgiving
Published 17th Aug 2010
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comments 8
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The author encourages honest critique.
18th Aug 2010 12:15pm
18th Aug 2010 12:38pm
Anonymous
19th Aug 2010 11:22am
After I'd finished reading this poem, I glanced back at the title and laughed. The juxtaposition between the verse's gruesome horror and the flippancy of that remark works very well.
The rhyme scheme sounded a bit cute at times, like one of those po-faced "yoof" rap songs, but I respect your clever construction, the airtight flow, and the constant stream of dark, gross and morbid images. You say what you want to say with class and finesse, and an enviable confidence.
The rhyme scheme sounded a bit cute at times, like one of those po-faced "yoof" rap songs, but I respect your clever construction, the airtight flow, and the constant stream of dark, gross and morbid images. You say what you want to say with class and finesse, and an enviable confidence.
24th Aug 2010 8:29am
26th Aug 2010 8:48am
"tortured, steaming, fucked yet gleaming eyed.
The needle piercing, not into an optic nerve just yet;
instead the flaccid penis feels the silver stainless steel
penetrate and flood the blood, unforgiving"
I find these lines very curiously sexy, and not just for the obvious. as the previous commenter said, the images presented here aren't exactly pleasant for the most part, but the title and your language implies a sort of twisted eroticism about the whole affair, and I love it.
The needle piercing, not into an optic nerve just yet;
instead the flaccid penis feels the silver stainless steel
penetrate and flood the blood, unforgiving"
I find these lines very curiously sexy, and not just for the obvious. as the previous commenter said, the images presented here aren't exactly pleasant for the most part, but the title and your language implies a sort of twisted eroticism about the whole affair, and I love it.
27th Aug 2010 3:01am
thanks for the feedback A to I.
maybe we tend find the dangerous things in life a little erotic. glad you loved it ;)
17th Sep 2010 4:46pm
Some poets can be breathtaking. I am mesmerized by your diction and confidence.
20th Sep 2010 9:47pm
