deepundergroundpoetry.com
Another Cloud
I lay in the coldness of my defeat
My soul sour, not good to eat
The sky cries showing its ugly side
Only to me, the one trapped inside
I soak up its tears as they fall
I tell it "it's okay", to the others it calls
They wash their burdens onto me
I accept them a, whatever they may be
Soon they are all out of sorrows to spill
Inside my heart kills
The sky brightens to rays of another happier day
But what they give is not what they can give away
I try to soak in the hope, the warmth, the light
But here I am still stuck in the darkness of night
I give up, I can never be happy
That is not the fate for me
So here I lay in the coldness of my defeat
Sadder then before, a sad fate I meet
Still crying distorted tears
From another day's lost fears
Published 26th Jan 2013
| Edited 10th Feb 2013
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Anonymous
- Edited 26th Jan 2013 5:06pm
26th Jan 2013 5:05pm
Welcome to this cool site, I B.
Hope you'll have lots of fun here.
Cool poem. Love the title!
Small observation, if I may.
*I tell it "its okay", to the others it calls
(In this line, an apostrophe is needed on "its", maybe.....?
Last line feels a tad awkward.
Just a thought, ok.
Pen on, poet!
Thanks for sharing :-)
Cheers
Tidespotter
Hope you'll have lots of fun here.
Cool poem. Love the title!
Small observation, if I may.
*I tell it "its okay", to the others it calls
(In this line, an apostrophe is needed on "its", maybe.....?
Last line feels a tad awkward.
Just a thought, ok.
Pen on, poet!
Thanks for sharing :-)
Cheers
Tidespotter
27th Jan 2013 1:23am
Thanks for reading it
I changed "its" to "it's"
I also changed the last line
Thanks for the help
I changed "its" to "it's"
I also changed the last line
Thanks for the help
