WAITING ON THE PUSHER...

Of all the places in the world I could be...I'm here...In this insignificant city,behind the pornography shop,waiting on the pusher.She never comes soon enough.I squirm inside my car,like a fetus in a womb.These damn restless legs...The neon glow bathes the parking lot.A desperate looking man walks out of the shop to his car.He clutches a paper bag to his chest.Inside the bag is what I can only assume is the rest of his night...His entire weekend...The rest of his life.I'm still waiting on mine.I'm sure I look as desperate.I pull the rear view mirror down,and stare at my face.The light bounces off of the sweat lingering on my forehead.My eyes blink in morse code"get some sleep,get some sleep.I thrust the mirror away and check my phone."COME ON!"I scream at the last text reading"I'm on my way".Ten minutes feels like yesterday...Is it yesterday again?Two cars left in the lot,mine and another.Shaking hands reach for the radio dial.I relate everything that I hear from the speakers,to the comfort I'm anticipating.The warmth of the medicine in the bloodstream.I'm going 60 milligrams to digest,and 30 to blow.What a meaningful strategic plan...Yeah right...Preparing the chopping board,I can hardly focus.A car pulls in.is it her?Nope...I crack the window and shiver,as I breath winter in.My phone rings.Fumbling it I check the number...It's my mom.She's worried again.Press ignore.I'd ignore anyone,but the one who holds my relief.Another car pulls in...IT'S HERE!...I mean THEY'RE HERE!...Pulling next to me,she jumps out and opens my passenger door.I can tell she's high.Nodding in and out of her excuses of tardiness.I don't care.I think to myself,"just give me the drugs bitch".She hands me that little baggy of wonder.The money is damp from sweat as we exchange.She wants to talk,I want to go.She's feeling good,I'm feeling like shit.Finally,she opens the door and we say our goodbyes...Until next time...Maybe tomorrow,maybe tonight,who knows.The car pulls away,and I'm already rolling the dollar,with a line waiting.Relief at last...Probably my last relief...