The illusion

Paths become entwined, we just stare away
To walk on, or forever remain this way
One pain, covers another, a scar lifted, truths recovered
time heals all wounds, but in time, more wounds birthed
abortion of thought, inner sanctum fogged, faith lost
under surveilance, why do you watch me?
confused or deranged, doesn't matter
I will remain this way
i turn around, feel the touch of your stare
lost in this world, i alone must partake, no one cares
in dream, wide awake,  it all remains the same
is this dream, or this some twisted reality?
with or without love, indifference, its all the same to me
medicated, frustrated, wears off, emotionally understated
wrists bleed, contusions feed, alone in pools of maroon, i want to feel
every night, the same episode replays in my corner
what delusions, to what conclusion, are you fucking real?
take me away from this madness, can this sadness comfort me?
i await my desolation, my torment, in the hell of my design
blackened walls, hollowed halls, my portrait stares back at me
how many times, must i feel this pain inside of me?
how many times must this fate tempt me?
the lines became blurred, my....  visions disturbed
the blade glistens in the reflection of the mirror, beckons me
this revolution of sanity awaits you my friend, we have always been here
alone you never were, cursed and betrayed only by the inner self
release from this vessel that restrains , you must
the sounds echo, the room spins, and i awake to the sounds of the rain
drop by drop, my blood, the rain, it all blends to sound the same
i glance up to the mirror, in the glass my wrists are bleeding
i look down, the skin unaffected, and feel your touch on my shoulder
was this an illusion, i ask
no, my son, just a glimpse of memory as life leaves your body, my child
the pain is over, the light overcomes me and i feel myself floating
so this how it ends? i ask
only if you choose it my child
 i glance back to the glass to find myself being pulled back into the pain and the sadness
i awake in tears to find the mirror shattered on the bathroom floor
was it an illusion or another dillusion to relived evermore?