deepundergroundpoetry.com
Change
Today I spent a long time meditating, just sitting still with myself and not thinking. I came away from that space this afternoon with a more complete understanding of change. I am convinced there is nothing more certain than that the world will continue to change around me whether I like that or not.
Accepting and not resisting this is the first and most important inner skill I can develop in this frenetically changing, modern world. Life tests me, all of us, every day to see how well we have developed this ability.
Equally I have come to a full realisation; there is nothing more real and true than the inner space within myself, within each of us, that never ever changes. We may change our thoughts, our feelings, even our sense of who we are, but we so often forget and fail to visit the unchanging centre of our own self. The ability to be in this inner space, where peace is truly found, when all around would prefer chaos and crisis, is the deepest spiritual change acceptance skill. I like to call this place the gap.
This place is precious and indomitable. It is the eye of the storm, it is the oasis in the desert, it is the place where peace is power and true serenity can be found. Call in there today, I did. You'll be surprised how much it can influence and change everything and everyone around you! And even if nothing moves, nothing changes it is there that I can find the acceptance and wholeness that keeps me going day to day in a world gone horribly wrong.
In this inner space, this gap, I can sit with my weakness, my defects of character and know this too will pass. Prior to going there today I was in terrible turmoil having become so aware of a particular brokenness about my behaviour. I found a full realisation recently that I all too often say hard, cruel things without even meaning to do so. This was a serious problem. I found myself going down and giving in to dark depression for sheer grief over the unchosen harm I have caused others in this subconscious hardness of speech and behaviour. I am, as always, my own worst enemy.
By going to the gap today I have allowed myself to come to an acceptance of change. In accepting that change is a constant I allow myself to know that my defects of character can also change. In the end things become really simple, things that just yesterday seemed so utterly insurmountable. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can and the fucking wisdom to know the difference…
Accepting and not resisting this is the first and most important inner skill I can develop in this frenetically changing, modern world. Life tests me, all of us, every day to see how well we have developed this ability.
Equally I have come to a full realisation; there is nothing more real and true than the inner space within myself, within each of us, that never ever changes. We may change our thoughts, our feelings, even our sense of who we are, but we so often forget and fail to visit the unchanging centre of our own self. The ability to be in this inner space, where peace is truly found, when all around would prefer chaos and crisis, is the deepest spiritual change acceptance skill. I like to call this place the gap.
This place is precious and indomitable. It is the eye of the storm, it is the oasis in the desert, it is the place where peace is power and true serenity can be found. Call in there today, I did. You'll be surprised how much it can influence and change everything and everyone around you! And even if nothing moves, nothing changes it is there that I can find the acceptance and wholeness that keeps me going day to day in a world gone horribly wrong.
In this inner space, this gap, I can sit with my weakness, my defects of character and know this too will pass. Prior to going there today I was in terrible turmoil having become so aware of a particular brokenness about my behaviour. I found a full realisation recently that I all too often say hard, cruel things without even meaning to do so. This was a serious problem. I found myself going down and giving in to dark depression for sheer grief over the unchosen harm I have caused others in this subconscious hardness of speech and behaviour. I am, as always, my own worst enemy.
By going to the gap today I have allowed myself to come to an acceptance of change. In accepting that change is a constant I allow myself to know that my defects of character can also change. In the end things become really simple, things that just yesterday seemed so utterly insurmountable. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can and the fucking wisdom to know the difference…
Published 2nd Jan 2013
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