deepundergroundpoetry.com
break me
I crave to share myself
With all and every one
But every time they see
I swear to myself I知 done
I知 done trying
I知 done crying
I知 done wanting
I知 done hurting
Rejection is all I ever get
Every piece of me gets broken
My pain seems to be just a token
Of all my efforts
My pain is my world
Cause I知 not good enough
I知 not tough enough
to be forever alone
so break me over and over
I値l keep telling myself you lie
until my stupidity wears out
and at last I finally die
With all and every one
But every time they see
I swear to myself I知 done
I知 done trying
I知 done crying
I知 done wanting
I知 done hurting
Rejection is all I ever get
Every piece of me gets broken
My pain seems to be just a token
Of all my efforts
My pain is my world
Cause I知 not good enough
I知 not tough enough
to be forever alone
so break me over and over
I値l keep telling myself you lie
until my stupidity wears out
and at last I finally die
Published 31st Dec 2012
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likes 3
reading list entries 0
comments 5
reads 745
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
21st Jan 2013 5:55pm
I can relate to this because I've often felt this way "Rejection is all I ever get
Every piece of me gets broken
My pain seems to be just a token
Of all my efforts" The rhyming scheme for this poem could use a bit of work but this overall is a nice piece.
May the words forever be with you
Chaos_Collector
Every piece of me gets broken
My pain seems to be just a token
Of all my efforts" The rhyming scheme for this poem could use a bit of work but this overall is a nice piece.
May the words forever be with you
Chaos_Collector
22nd Jan 2013 2:28am
thank you. i'm glad you liked it. as for the rhyme.. i purposely changed it up.. to fit my mood.. discombobulated..
22nd Jan 2013 2:44am
You're welcome :) Ahhh interesting. That makes sense but for the reader's sake, keep a good flow and rhythm in the poem because often times it can be distracting to readers. I'd recommend expressing your confusion in other way in the poem. You're a peculiar one indeed but in a good way though :)
23rd Jan 2013 3:20am
23rd Jan 2013 3:36am
