deepundergroundpoetry.com
Halfway to Heaven
When i looked upon your angel face
My heart grew wings and soared
Petrified by your radiance
I grew stiff as a board
You were a vision of perfection
In all your pristine glory
but it was what you did to me
That tells a different story
You held the power to transport me
To worlds of bliss or woe
I made a pact to hold you
And never to let go
You flew me past the highest peaks
My breath was gone
I couldnt speak
We were halfway to the pearly gates
Then suddenly a twist of fate
With my head in the clouds
I couldnt see at all
you took me half way to heaven
Then you let me fall
My heart grew wings and soared
Petrified by your radiance
I grew stiff as a board
You were a vision of perfection
In all your pristine glory
but it was what you did to me
That tells a different story
You held the power to transport me
To worlds of bliss or woe
I made a pact to hold you
And never to let go
You flew me past the highest peaks
My breath was gone
I couldnt speak
We were halfway to the pearly gates
Then suddenly a twist of fate
With my head in the clouds
I couldnt see at all
you took me half way to heaven
Then you let me fall
Published 15th Dec 2012
| Edited 6th Feb 2014
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The author encourages honest critique.
15th Dec 2012 8:14pm
Lol "stiff as a board" can have multiple meanings. A person with a sick enough mind could read this as borderline erotica.
But in all serious-mess as a love poem its great. Even though she let you fall you still remember the feeling soaring as a wonderful experience. "With my head in the clouds" is my favorite metaphor it ties in with the theme.
And I dont know if you notice, but as I read aloud theres a cool shift in rhyme pattern "And never let go" and the next line. It sounds good and helps the transition from you were amazing to now we are soaring almost to heaven
But in all serious-mess as a love poem its great. Even though she let you fall you still remember the feeling soaring as a wonderful experience. "With my head in the clouds" is my favorite metaphor it ties in with the theme.
And I dont know if you notice, but as I read aloud theres a cool shift in rhyme pattern "And never let go" and the next line. It sounds good and helps the transition from you were amazing to now we are soaring almost to heaven
Yea i knew it could be taken that way though the pun was not intended but both interpretations wold be correct lol. Also the change in the rhyming pattern came from me writing the ending yesterday and when i started the beginning it was a different flow so i had to blend it best i could.Thanks for reading!
WOW! This poem gave me such beautiful chills, that I could feel myself drifting halfway to Heaven! I loved every single line in this poem. Read it twice!
STUNNING INK!
STUNNING INK!
15th Dec 2012 9:23pm
15th Dec 2012 9:55pm
you are truly inspirational and this one is evocative of that one rlationship that sometimes only lasts for minutes and sometimes for years..
I would tick the 'like' box but it has vanished
I would tick the 'like' box but it has vanished
