deepundergroundpoetry.com
hell (final)
the devils come out to play
it is their time
it is the end of time
(welcome to this moment)
we're all watching ourselves die
hell is here in this eternal moment
(I feel alive in the presence of death)
we've all gone through hell in our own way
(this life is evil)
it is their time
it is the end of time
(welcome to this moment)
we're all watching ourselves die
hell is here in this eternal moment
(I feel alive in the presence of death)
we've all gone through hell in our own way
(this life is evil)
Published 12th Jun 2010
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Anonymous
12th Jun 2010 11:40pm
I love the final lines in brackets; they're like the beating of a very dark heart. Haunting in its cynicism, its welcoming of death, and its artistic simplicity. Another miniature success.
13th Jun 2010 00:55am
like that dark heart that never seems to stop beating I never let up on the cynicism.. its always there in the back of my head.. haunting me like poe's own experience of terror with a beating heart
12th Jun 2010 11:57pm
I knew the brackets would work out well that way...Jack put it just right about those lines, that's a great way to describe it, the beating of a heart. This would fit perfectly in your book mfuw
13th Jun 2010 00:45am
I had had the hell poems i, iii and v in my fucked up words book but was deciding whether or not to keep them at all.. but now that they're all one more solid and full piece this ones definitely going in the book.. yep we both thought the parenthesized sentence would go better at the end of the first verse and it did.. thanks for you help and answering questions I have about my own work.. and don't be afraid to be brutally honest..
13th Jun 2010 11:40am
14th Jun 2010 10:47pm
