How many sorrys?

I wish I could take, back what I done...
I wish we went back to the fun...
Of when I was coping, of when I was well...
But you have now left me, a big empty shell...
the sorrys I said, I did mean them all...
But out you kicked me, and I took the fall...
It just wasnt me, the person I showed...
When you rejected me, out the tears flowed...
I tried to get better, I did really try...
But all you did was tell me goodbye...
I no you did help me, I no that you tried...
But when it got worse, my insides did die...
You got up and left me, and now full of hate...
I even could not, keep you as a mate...
The look you gave me, I still can see...
The look of hate, was all just for me...
If it was just me, who hurt you so bad...
I would understand why you are so mad...
But you do no, its so not the me...
That one that hurts you, the one you can see...
I am me, the one who loves you...
Im the one whos hurting and blue...
Not the illness of who I became...
The one who was born me! the one in the same...
I said that im sorry just so many times...
I have and am still, paying for all my crimes...
You said oh so nasty, that kama will pay...
Ive already had it, For good now ill pray...
Why do you hate me? why when you no...
That it was my illness, to you I did show...

Dedicated to the man I caused most pain...
Love conquers all! but not in our case.
Im sorry.