[jamie johnson]

you left exactly what you intended
behind you
you followed Louis to the end
and
the world is still not your friend
your friends are struck dumb by
your selfishness,

yes, that's what they call it.

and I was angry and wrote
a poem
but that wasn't fair

you have spread your hurt
through everyone now
your body is heavy in their hearts
Like Louis was the stone
around your neck
that's you now

you knew what you were doing
and did it anyway

I do not doubt your pain
was all the sum of the pain you created
and more
I do not doubt you fought to stay alive
as surely as Greg who
died of cancer two tuesdays ago
people just don't
know it so

in memoriam of a
selfish bastard and a broken heart
one boy is dead
two parents aged twenty years.

playing in my mind is you at
about 12 years old
working with your daddy
in the garage
in the garage where we left our car
thursday night
while somewhere else
you killed yourself

clouds ran over you like tanks
then you sank into forgetting
but they sing for you:
why can't thursdays
last forever